#right under Justine who i also really loved

[yoshistory]

unfortunately now want to make an Amnesia Rebirth amv

[seriallover]

Why certain people capture the spotlight?⭐️

1. The luminaries, the Sun and Moon naturally draw attention in a birth chart. People with strong Sun or Moon placements tend to light up any room they enter, effortlessly standing out.

Just like everyone loves capturing the beauty of a sunrise or the glow of a full moon, those with these placements have a magnetic energy that people can’t help but notice.

It’s almost like they’re always in the spotlight, which is why they often feel the need to look their best.☀️🌕

Beyoncé, Purva Phalguni Sun, Chitra Lagna and Venus.

Michael Jackson, Magha Sun and Shatabhisha Lagna.

Bella Hadid, Purva Phalguni Moon and Lagna.

There's not much to say about Beyoncé and Michael that isn't already well-known—they're icons in their own right, the biggest stars of our time. Bella Hadid has become the most photographed model off-duty and in 2022, she was named Model of the Year.

Gia Carangi, often hailed as the first true supermodel, paved the way for all the other supermodels that followed. She had a Shravana Sun and Lagnesh, with Hasta as her Lagna and a Shatabhisha Moon.

Britney Spears, Shravana Moon, was one of the most photographed stars for a while. The crazy amount of media attention even led to harassment and really affected her mental health.

Gisele Bündchen, Pushya Sun and Purva Phalguni Lagna, the only "Ubermodel"-that means being more than a supermodel.

Lauren Hutton, Pushya Moon and Lagna, holds the record for the most Vogue covers—26 in total.

I previously explored about how lunar-dominant people often achieve significant success on social media.

2. Chitra Nakshatra, known as the "Star of Opportunity," carries the Shakti of "accumulating merit." The word "Chitra" translates to "wonderful" and "pleasing to look at," as well as "illusion."

The deity of this nakshatra is Tvastar, the celestial architect who designed the universe. The symbol of Chitra is the "pearl" or "bright jewel," symbolizing beauty and uniqueness.💎💍

"Chitra" also means "picture," so individuals with this nakshatra are often naturally photogenic. 📸Tvastar, as the creator of Maya (illusion), grants those under Chitra the ability to craft captivating personas, making them talented models, photographers, actors, and successful on social media.

Kim Kardashian, Chitra Sun, built a career centered on her image. As one of the first influencers, she's become one of the most prominent and influential figures on social media. In 2015, she released “Selfish”, a book featuring a collection of her selfies.

Cindy Kimberly, Chitra Moon and Shravana Lagna, shot to fame because of her striking beauty. Her big break came when Justin Bieber posted about her on his Instagram. Now, she’s a major beauty influencer and a well-known model.

Anna Nicole Smith, Chitra Sun and Hasta Moon, made a name for herself as a model, completely based on her image. She was once one of the most photographed women in the world, and photographers loved working with her, often saying she was one of the easiest and most exciting people to capture on camera.

The thing with Chitra individuals is that, because of Tvastar, the celestial craftsman, their features often become iconic. For instance, Kim drew the attention to the BBL, Cindy’s nose has become a major inspiration for many women, and Anna Nicole brought attention back to curvy bodies at a time when the "heroin chic" look was in vogue, reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe's era.

3. Dhanishtha🌟 Shakti is "power to give abundance and fame," meaning "the most famous," "the most heard of." This nakshatra is recurring in the charts of people who usually marry famous individuals, making them well-known as well, often attracting more attention than their partner.

Princess Diana, Dhanishtha Moon and Magha Lagnesh, was the most photographed woman in the world, holding the record for the most sold-out paparazzi pictures, including one that sold for 6 million dollars.

Marilyn Monroe, Rohini Sun, Dhanishtha Moon, and Ashlesha Lagna, was also one of the most photographed women of her time.

4. Shatabhisha, meaning "hundred stars" and represented by a veiled star and an empty circle, is a nakshatra ruled by Rahu. ⭕️

This nakshatra is associated with illusion, the power to effect radical change, innovation, the foreign, esoteric influences, and trends. The empty circle can also symbolize the idea of a cult or community, like the Navy for Rihanna.

Rihanna, Shatabhisha Sun, stands out as one of the most influential artists and fashion icons. She has consistently set trends in the fashion world, with her style serving as an inspiration to many. Recently, her maternity looks have redefined how celebrities approach their appearance during pregnancy, bringing a stylish twist to the norm.

Demi Moore, Lagnesh in Shravana and Jupiter in Shatabhisha in the first house, set a trend for nude pregnancy photoshoots. At the time, this was quite controversial, but it has since become a common practice not just among celebrities, but also for non-celebrity women.

Elizabeth Taylor, Sun in Shatabhisha, was also a major target for paparazzi. George Hamilton once remarked:

"I remember when the word 'paparazzi' came along, and it just meant a bunch of guys who were all photographers looking for Elizabeth Taylor. Desperately looking for Elizabeth Taylor! And that was the beginning of paparazzi. They were not going for glamour anymore. They were going for the destruction of glamour."

[nadiajustbe]

Underrated HMC moments I've never seen anyone talking about part 2

Howl choosing "H. Jenkins" for the shop's sign wich is the one and only moment in the series he actually uses his legal initials, as "H" can stand for "Howl" and "Howell" in the same time

Lettie being so angry about Prince Justin calling her "a sweet lady" that she said that she would prefer ever Howl over him. Wich is. Telling.

The King assuring that he never pushed Justin off and that everyone who knows them both wouldn't assume that.

Sophie being so RAGED with the whole weedkiller and daffodils situation she wasn't saying A SINGLE FULL WORD for about a page in the least. All of the sounds were like "argh!" and "Sophie gave the wordless glump of range"

The seven-league boots having the funniest description of use ever, as every time someone used it then the effects were simply narrated as "Zip!"

Howl raises the skull and quotes Hamlet directly to it, wich becomes a hundred times funnier when you remember that this Skull is canonically and ironically the only "person" in the room who can understand the reference.

Howl saying "Denmark" in the same sentence. And, again, they're in a fairly tale fantasy word. Sophie has absolutely no clue what to hell is Denmark. For Howl this is the basic knowledge of elementary school level.

Poor Percival being almost KILLED for transforming in the middle of a valley because people thought he's a WEREWOLF.

Poor Percival being STROKED with information of him being made of part of two other people right after experiencing heavy trauma, beheading, physical damages, not really well-planed adopting and moving a house.

Percival describing laying on the shelf and looking at the other parts of himself. What a lovely kids book.

Sophie accidentally making cayenne pepper magical. She would make a great seller-witch career because she doesn't need to know the spell in order to make. She takes random powder. She says it will do the duel fair. It makes the duel fare by making an opponent sneezing uncontrollable (wich is also just a way cayenne pepper affects people lmao)

Sophie's first thoughts after she heard that Howl is leaving the black door knob where it is being "Of course! There's miss. Angorian!'. Sophie, dear, he has a family out there.

Michael, apparently, hiding the money under the same brick Sophie will soon describe in CITA as "the brick where we're hiding money from Howl"

Miss Angorian and Howl acting like the spell in a modern Wales is the most normal thing ever. "That's a spell!!" "Oh yeah of course I suspected that"

“Didn’t know I used to fly up the wing for my university, did you, Mrs. Nose?” “If you were trying to fly, you must have forgotten how,” aka Sophie absolutely not understanding modern world sport terminology

Drunk Howell trying to get through the door MULTIPLE times, bumping on it before "discovering" the door

Calcifer "taking" that huge mention they lived (and almost never visited) in without buying it. It was literally said the owner is just Not Here.

Sophie loosing an acces to her own room. Wich must be really sad.

Witch of the Waste leaning on a swing when literally capturing Howl's family

Additionaly: Howl canonically NOT altering his clothes while rushing to save his family. He was running around in a long-sleeved medieval closes on a welsh playground

Sophie and miss Angorian having a whole fight over the guitar pulling it back and forward while it was making horrible sounds

Sophie literally pushing miss. Angorian off the house using the said guitar

Howl immediatly reacting when someone mentioned that the star Michael tried to catch looks sad.

Scarecrow literally running around with parts of Justin's body on its sticky shoulders for eighty percent of the book's finale

Howl saying he could be "the evil fairy at his own christening" which is probably a reference to the "Sleeping Beaty". Also. rises a question: did Howl HAD a christening. There's a huge chance he actually did.

Ben and Justin just. smiling at each other for enough amount of time for Sophie's narrative to say "If she had paid any attention she would see them". Am I interuppting something???

Lettie hating Howl's courting SO MUCH she asked Percival to bite him several times.

Additionally: Ben apologising to Howl for trying to bite him. That's also probably first time they're interacting

Howl ignoring all of it because sOPHIE HATTER

[ericshoney]

Inked ~ Brothers!Sturniolo Triplets

Summary: You get a tattoo dedicated to your triplet brothers.

Warnings: Possible swearing, nicknames, tattoos(?), fluff

Reader's age: 23

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had planned this surprise out for months. Saved up so you could afford three very important tattoos. You had many tattoos, much like Nick and Matt. Chris being the only one out of your siblings not to have one, as Justin also had one.

You had a couple of matching tattoos with Nick and Matt but the ones you were about to get, were even more special. You walked into the tattoo parlour and your friend, Sammy, was prepping up.

"Hey Y/n!"

"Hey Sammy." You replied.

Sammy was the artist who did your first ever tattoo, since then, the two of you had become close friends and whenever you wanted another permanent creation, they were who you went too.

"I'll be ready in just a sec." They said.

"No problem." You said.

A few minutes went by whilst Sammy set up. When they were ready, you were called over and sat on the bed. You were getting the tattoos on your forearm.

"Do they know you're here?" Sammy questioned.

"No I lied and said I had a meeting for work. They had planned to hang out with Nate." You answered.

Nick, Matt and Chris were home in Boston, which made getting the tattoos done now more important.

"Simple but effective. I like it." Sammy responded, making you laugh.

"Alright. So I got to make sure this is right. It's a lion for Nick, a bear for Matt and a deer for Chris, right?" They asked.

"That's right. Can you also add their names under each one?" You asked, making them nod.

Sammy then got everything ready. First up was Nick's. Sammy started on the tattoo.

"Doesn't Nick have a deer too?" Sammy questioned.

"Yeah it was one of his first ones. He got a C placed near it and somewhere else on his arm there is an M." You nodded.

"That's cute really. Not only will the deer match with Nick, but also represent Chris." They responded.

You smiled and continued chatting with Sammy. Technically it was their day off but knew how much this meant to you, so came in just for you.

Five hours later, you paid and left with three brand new tattoos. You said bye to Sammy before heading home. When you walked in, you heard the triplets shouting from the kitchen, making you smile.

You walked through and saw them eating pizza, while watching videos on their phones. You smiled and hugged each of them.

"How was the meeting?" Chris asked.

"Oh about that." You began, a massive grin appearing on your face.

"What?" Matt asked.

"I lied. There was no meeting. I went and saw Sammy." You admitted.

You then showed them your arm, where the fresh tattoos sat. Nick gasped, Matt smiled and Chris cheered.

"They look amazing, sis!" Chris shouted.

"I had this planned for months. I saved up and planned the designs carefully." You replied.

"Wanna explain?" Matt asked.

"So Chris' is simple. A deer since that's your thing, you love them and it's part of your brand. It also matches with Nick's." You said first.

"It's awesome." Chris said, admiring the ink.

"Then a bear for Matt. This is because you're soft and cuddly but also protective." You continued.

"Then a lion for Nick. You're strong, protective and a leader." You finished.

The three smiled and hugged you tightly. You smiled and felt happy with their reactions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags:

@sturn-33 @lgbtq-girl @mattsfavbigtitties @onelesslonelygirlbieber6 @riowritesitall @sturniolo-fann @mrvlxgrl @melaniesturniolo @cl1tlover3000 @lottieluhvs @lovesturni0l0s @blahbel668  @emely9274 @nicksloverrr @emely9274 @nicksloverrr @pancjfrjb @luvr4miya @artloo123 @n0aa @sturn-rose @ivysturnss

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

a/n: andrei got an all star weekend fic last year, so it’s only right that mat gets one this year! i literally have a million favorite pics from this weekend so i had to use them all i don’t care. i tried to hit a bunch of the main weekend highlights! i’m also aware that some of the timing and stuff is weird in the fic, but we’re just rolling with it and enjoying the vibes. 🧡💙

word count: 7k

tw: innuendo, dirty talk, protected sex, oral (m receiving), fingering (f recieving), thigh riding, extremely minimal editing

summary: all star weekend in toronto with mat is one to remember

“Who do you think will pick you?” You ask, settled comfortably in the middle of the hotel room’s mattress, wrapped warmly in the plush robe. You have the perfect spot to watch Mat at the bathroom sink while he shaves. He’s in his suit pants, but his chest is bare, giving you the opportunity to watch his back and arm muscles move as he works.

“Dunno,” he replies, slightly muffled. You can see his face in the mirror, lips tucked in and half covered in shaving cream. He lets his hand fall to the counter and turns to face you, a crooked smile on his face made even more lopsided by the shaving cream beard. “If it’s not Mo and Auston though, I’m leaving.”

You roll your eyes, knowing that your boyfriend loves Justin Bieber almost more than he loves you. “I want Nate and Cale to pick you. I want to meet Tate McRae.”

“You can meet Tate McRae even if I’m not on her team,” Mat scoffs, returning to his shaving. “When am I ever going to get a chance to be coached by Justin Bieber? Never, Squeaks! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

“You’re such a dork,” you murmur affectionately, grinning at his back and tucking your face into the collar of the robe. You have to get up and start getting ready soon, but you’re too comfortable to move. Mat’ll go over to the arena earlier for media interviews and the red carpet, but you don’t have to be there, technically at all, but you want to see the draft.

Mat finishes shaving his face and wipes his cheeks off with the hand towel. “You’re not being very supportive of my dreams,” he informs you dramatically, tossing the dirty towel onto the counter and planting his hands on his hips.

You kneel up on the bed and gape at him, amping up the dramatics. “I’m spending my vacation in cold ass Toronto instead of Baha Mar because I’m supportive of your dreams,” you laugh, throwing your arms out to your sides. “Sue me if I want you to have a good celebrity captain.”

“The Biebs would be the best captain,” Mat replies, crossing over to the bed in a handful of steps, reaching out to rest his hands on your hips. His fingers play with the tie of the robe. “He played hockey and he’s a huge fan.”

“Are their colors at least the blue jersey?” You ask. “You look so good in blue.”

Mat lifts an eyebrow. “That would make you support my coaching dreams? The color blue?”

You hum, resting your hands on his shoulders, playing with the chain around his neck. “I’m very superficial,” you inform him, deadpan.

“Yeah,” Mat replies, equally deadpan, “me too.” He breaks a second later, grinning and peppering kisses all over your face, making you squeal. His fingers dig into your sides, tickling you under the robe, and you wriggle on your knees, slumping forward over his chest when you can’t take it anymore. Gasping laughter saws from your chest and you try to catch your breath, but Mat’s making it hard with his hands splayed over your back. They’re warm and slightly rough and you’re both really wearing barely any clothes, it would be so easy to drag him down onto the bed.

He seems to be telepathically picking up on your thoughts because Mat presses a kiss to your bare shoulder where the robe has slipped off and says, “I gotta finish getting ready or I’m going to be late. But when we get back after the draft, my body is yours to use.”

You pull back and grin at him. “However I want?”

“Yeah,” he snorts, “I need to conserve energy to reclaim my title tomorrow, so you have to do all the work.”

“Pillow princess,” you accuse, pouting at him.

“Just for you, babe,” Mat shoots back, cupping your chin in his hand and tilting your head back so he can really kiss you, licking into your mouth and leaving you wet and wanting when he pulls back. “Start thinking about what position you want me in.”

He winks, laughing, and heads back to the bathroom to finish getting his hair in place. You slump back down on the bed and call to his back, “I’m making sure I get two orgasms before you even get one.”

“Fine by me,” Mat calls back, hands working through his hair. “I like the way you scream my name when you’re coming on my cock.”

Your entire body flushes with heat and you press your thighs together. “Damnit,” you mutter, knowing you need to start getting ready and you definitely don’t have time for even a halfway satisfying orgasm. “For that,” you call, starting to roll off the bed so you can do your hair and makeup, “I get three orgasms before you get one.”

“You’re being so mean to your All-Star,” Mat teases, shrugging into his button down and starting to do up the buttons. You plug in your curling iron and roll your eyes at him.

“Should’ve known all the attention would go to your head,” you sigh, pretending to be burdened by him. “I’m your All-Star, Mr. Barzal, and don’t you forget it.”

His answering grin crinkles his entire face and you go to him easily when he reaches out to grab your wrist and tug you into his chest. “That’s why I’m letting you have your orgasms before I get mine,” he says cheekily, pressing a smacking kiss to your cheek and disappearing to the other side of the room for his shoes.

You huff a little, a small smile playing on your lips, and return to fixing your hair. Mat finishes getting ready, lacing up his dress shoes and pulling on his suit jacket before throwing his arms out to his sides and doing a little half-turn, asking, “so, how do I look?”

“Like my All-Star,” you beam at him, tilting your head up for a kiss. He obliges. “I like this suit a lot,” you continue, reaching for your purse and withdrawing a Sharpie. You hold it up in between your bodies and tuck it into the inside pocket of his jacket. “Just in case.”

Mat pats his hand over the pocket and kisses your forehead. “Thanks, Squeaks. Text me when you get to the arena, okay? I’ll see you after the draft.”

You nod and with one final kiss, Mat’s out the door, leaving you with some peace and quiet to get ready. You do wish that Bo or Noah had been voted in too, so you’d at least have Holly or Alexa to hang out with while you’re watching the events. Mat’s parents and Liana are getting into town tomorrow afternoon, with enough time to join you for the Skills Competition, but until then, you’re on your own.

Luckily, you run into Steph Marner outside of the arena, saving you from the awkward first day of a new school feeling where you’ll either have to sit alone or find someone you know in the arena. You know Steph a little bit from different events and you’re friendly enough, it’s not the same as having one of your girls with you, but she’s a familiar face.

“Hey, girl!” Steph greets you with a hug that you return. “Welcome to the six!”

“I really wish you were welcoming me to the Bahamas,” you laugh, falling into step next to her. The crowds are wild and you look around as you walk in, having never been to an All-Star game before this is so much fun.

She lets loose a laugh, “you and me both! It would’ve been nice to get out of the city for a bit, but what can you do?” She shrugs and you fall into small talk for a little bit, catching up on what’s been happening since you last saw each other.

By the time the draft starts, you’re pleasantly tipsy and getting into the fun. The guys are all sitting on little benches on the ice and it’s adorable watching them swing their legs like toddlers. You snap a few photos of Mat from your spot in the stands, knowing the professional photos you’ll get from the team’s social media team later will be better. The draft starts and you wait impatiently for Mat to be picked.

By the time the fourth round ends and he hasn’t been picked, you’re starting to get cranky on his behalf. And slightly anxious that he’ll be picked last, even though you know logically that won’t happen. On the ice, he keeps swinging his legs, fidgeting in place until finally Mo and Auston pick him to join Team Bieber, along with half the Maple Leafs - Mitch Marner and William Nylander included.

Steph slaps your hand in a high-five, “woohoo! Teammates!”

You laugh and cheer along with her, snapping a picture of Mat getting a hug from Justin Bieber. You immediately send it off to your group chat, adding the message: pretty sure he’s going to leave me for the biebs 😭

The girls flood the chat, but you’re too busy laughing with Steph about Mat and Mitch’s chatter on the Team Bieber bench.

“Oh my god,” you laugh. “Mat’s such a yapper. He must be talking Mitch’s ear off.”

“Please,” Steph waves her hand in the air. “Mitch can’t shut up either. They probably aren’t even listening to each other.”

As the draft continues, you tune out a little since Mat’s been picked. Eventually, you tune back in and your gaze lands on your boyfriend manspreading to an extreme degree. Muffling a laugh with your hand, you shoot him a text, knowing he won’t see it until later: spread your legs a little wider, babe, i want to feel the stretch when i straddle you 👀

The draft comes to an end and it’s a little bit of a whirlwind after that, chatting with people you haven’t seen in a bit and wandering the arena until you find Mat. Or he finds you, actually.

“Team Bieber!” He crows, barely hiding his excitement now that it’s just you in front of him.

You grin at him, squeaked laughter pushed from your lungs when he crushes you to his chest in a hug. “Happy for you, Mat!”

“Babe,” he shakes his head, grinning from ear to ear, “this is gonna be so fucking fun. He hugged me!”

“You are the biggest fangirl I’ve ever seen,” you tease, tucking yourself under his arm and wrapping your arm around his waist. “It’s adorable.”

“I know you’re making fun of me right now,” he says, “but I don’t even care. We’ve got a Bieber concert to get to.”

You shake your head and let yourself be dragged along to the concert, knowing that Mat’s going to have the time of his life listening to one of his favorite artists perform live and that you’re going to get so many videos of him singing along that will immediately be sent to Beau for blackmail material.

The concert is actually beyond fun, and by the time you get back to the hotel, Mat’s completely forgotten about his earlier determination to be a pillow princess and has you out of your sweater and jeans before you really process what’s happening. His mouth and fingers work you up to two hard and fast orgasms, leaving you sweaty and breathless in the middle of the bed.

“Fuck,” you mutter, wrapping your legs around his waist and squeezing them, bending your knees to draw his cock closer to your cunt. You clit throbs and the condom-wrapped head of Mat’s cock bumps against it, making you see stars.

“One more each, okay?” Mat mutters, pushing into you slowly. You whine and clench around him, scraping your nails down his back. He hisses at the sting, but doesn’t stop until he’s seated fully inside your pussy, breathing hard. Sweat rolls down his temples, dampening his hair.

You barely last a few minutes, overly sensitive from the last two orgasms, and you come before Mat, stroking your hands over every inch of him you can reach while he pumps his hips into yours. He grunts into your neck when he comes, filling the condom and nearly crushing you with the heavy weight of his body on top of yours. The air is pushed from your lungs, Mat’s sweaty chest pressed against yours.

“Fuck,” he mumbles into your hair, “that felt good. You feel good. Could stay here forever.”

You kiss his shoulder. “I’d make some kind of innuendo about being an all star, but I think my brain is melted,” you say honestly, still wrapped around Mat like an octopus and making no effort to move.

——-

Mat’s Friday is quiet, other than an early afternoon practice for the Saturday game and the Skills Competition at night, so you have a lazy morning with him in bed. Neither of you bothered with clothes the night before, so it’s easy to get your hands on him and harder to get his hands off of you. You slip under the covers and wake him up with your mouth on his cock, sucking him off until he comes in your mouth. After he returns the favror with a slow, lingering orgasm, you shower and decide to head off to explore downtown Toronto for a bit before Mat goes to practice and you head off to the airport in the rental car to pick up Mat’s parents and sister.

“Thank god you’re here,” you give Liana a huge hug after helping everyone load their bags into the trunk. “It’s so hard being the only one around to chirp Mat to his face.”

“Please tell me you have video of the Bieber of it all,” she grins at you, a little evilly. You nod and she she pumps her fist. Nadia shakes her head.

“Don’t be mean to your brother this weekend,” she turns around in the passenger seat to face you both. Michael had insisted on driving back into the city and you weren’t about to argue - Toronto traffic rivaled New York traffic.

Liana rolls her eyes. “Mom, he needs some humbling,” she replies. “It’s good for his character

growth.”

You hide a giggle behind your hand. The Barzal sibling dynamic is one of your favorite things to witness. “I promise, Nadia,” you say, leaning forward a bit, “Mat gets so much praise. He does need a little humbling every once in a while.”

Once you’re back in the city, you drop the car and everyone’s bags off at the hotel and head over to meet Mat at the arena. He’s waiting for you all in the main lobby, looking fresh and clean and beyond adorable in his new All-Stars beanie. His smile is huge and only grows when he gives his parents hugs hello. He rubs the top of Liana’s head in a noogie that has her punching his arm, while they both laugh.

“Hi,” you smile up at him. You missed him even though it’s been less than two hours since you saw him.

“Hi,” Mat kisses you quickly before tugging the beanie off his head and unceremoniously dropping it on yours, tugging the cuff of it low over your forehead and smushing your hair. You wrinkle your nose at him and he raises an eyebrow. “It’s cold and you look cute in it.”

You lift your phone, the screen lighting up to display a handful of social media notifications and texts, “not as cute as you, according to the Twitter girlies. Apparently, you’re giving babygirl.” Your grin is shit-eating and Liana openly cracks up next to you, even as Michael and Nadia frown at each other, completely confused by the social media phrases.

Mat’s ears go pink and he nudges his hip against yours. “Shut up, let’s just go for lunch and not talk about that,” he rests his hand against your lower back and slings the other arm over Liana’s shoulder, guiding the both of you out of the arena.

“Oh no,” his sister says in a sugary-sweet tone, “we’re definitely talking about it. I have a few of my favorites bookmarked to mention…” She trails off, starting to scroll through her phone.

“Mom!” Mat whips his head around to look at Nadia. She plucks the phone from Liana’s hands and stashes it in her purse.

Michael, in order to cut off Liana’s complaint, jumps in, “Mat, tell us about Patrick Roy. How’s the change going?”

Luckily, the new coach is a topic Mat could happily chatter on about for hours, so he takes the bait and you end up having a fairly peaceful lunch before heading back to the hotel for a little relaxation before the Skills Competition. Liana comes to hang out with you and Mat, while Michael and Nadia get in a quick nap after their long flight. You put a movie on, but really the three of you end up gossiping and catching up, before Mat finally kicks you both out so he can get in a short nap too.

“Love you,” he kisses you before essentially pushing you out the door.

“Yeah, I really feel the love,” you roll your eyes, quickly pulling your coat back before Mat can close the door on it.

Liana smiles at you wryly. “I don’t know how you put up with him, but thank god for you. Let’s go get a coffee,” she says, linking arms with you as you stroll down to the elevators. You have the toque back on your head, adjusted so it’s not smashing your hair flat, and you can’t help but smile when you think about Mat putting it on your head in the first place.

“He’s surprisingly easy to love,” you laugh. “When he’s not being a drama queen.”

“Ugh,” Liana rolls her eyes affectionately, “you guys are disgusting.”

“Be nice or I’m going to decide to renovate the guest room during the week in April you’re coming to visit,” you joke.

——-

The arena is even louder and more chaotic during the Skills Competition and you’re having fun with Liana, taking pictures and getting snacks while you wait for everything to start.

“Fuck,” you mutter to yourself, scrolling through Instagram before the events start. The reel the team’s socials have posted of Mat picking out his skate blades has your panties immediately damp and you’re ready to demand it get taken down for your own sanity. You shift in your seat, damp fabric scraping against your wet cunt.

Liana looks over your shoulder to see what you’re looking at. “Oh gross,” she fakes a gagging noise. “He needs to put those away.”

“Or save them just for me,” you mumble, for her ears only. As much as you love Nadia and Michael, they don’t need to hear how horny you are for their son. Liana bumps your shoulder and your fingers slip over the screen.

“I’m gonna go blind, put that thirst trap away,” she frowns. “They’re going to start now.”

She’s right and Mat is the first one introduced on the ice. The four of you jump to your feet and scream for him, your heart pounding with excitement. Mat looks so stupidly happy to be on the ice, you can’t help but let out an extra loud wolf-whistle for him.

The Fastest Skater competition is up first and you won’t admit it, but you’re a little nervous for Mat to hold onto his title. You clench your hands together while William Nylander, Quinn Hughes, and Cale Makar go, crossing your fingers when their times are all over 14 seconds.

Mat’s fourth and you scream when he’s under 14 seconds, holding first until, of course, Connor McDavid unseats him. It’s annoying and a little frustrating, but you’re still beyond proud of Mat for being so close.

“Fuck that!” Liana grumbles, echoing your thoughts.

“He’s fastest skater in my heart,” you whisper back, purposely not telling her your plan to giving him a blow job at the end of the night.

One Timers is next. Honestly, you have no idea what the rules on this one are, but you just enjoy the show. Especially since Mat’s not that great in this competition in the end. You can see the scowl on his face and even Nadia laughs a little.

“He’s so hard on himself, even for fun events,” she shakes her head.

You can see him shake his head after his turn at the Passing Challenge, but honestly you’re really just focused on down damn good he looks with the backwards cap on his head. Watching Mat show off his skills is always your favorite thing. Mat takes third in this challenge and then talks to Kevin Weekes on ice and you record him while he talks, loving that crooked smile of his.

“I can’t believe he’s tied for first,” Liana shakes her head, filling in Michael and Nadia as they come back to the seats with drinks. “Think he’ll drop a couple thousand my way?”

“I’ll make sure of it,” you nudge her side. “Right after he funds my tropical vacation.”

During the musical break, you both get up to use the bathroom and stretch your legs. Your phone is vibrating with texts from the team and the girls, chirping Mat and making sure you know to pass on the messages.

Mat’s final event is Stick Handling and you keep your fingers crossed throughout the break - he’s in third overall and honestly you think he could pull off a win. Either way, you know you’re going to celebrate with him later.

“That’s my man!” You shout when Mat’s announced for second place. “Silkiest mits in the league!”

Liana and Nadia jump up to celebrate with you - Mat’s tied for first over all with one competition left.

He makes it to the next round and the three of you cheer, laughing and more than a little tipsy off of arena beers and cocktails. It’s so much more fun to cheer him on and celebrate Mat with his family.

“I always forget how good he is,” Nadia comments. “I know he’s good, but he’s having fun out there too.”

“No, he was literally off the wall excited to come back,” you tell her. “Being selected and then getting to replace Jack Hughes in the skills comp, on top of the new coach, Mat’s been in such a good mood lately.”

“He’s also whipped,” Liana teases you. You stick your tongue out at her.

“He just knows when he has to listen and turn off his hockey brain,” you shrug, talking over the music.

“Oh, Mat sucks at the shootout,” you groan, seeing what the One on One competition entails. “I just need him to not be last on this one.”

Mat picks Igor Shesterkin as his goalie and you watch him collect six points and sit in a tie for third. The New York rivalry runs strong and you can’t wait for the Stadium Series game in two weeks. You’re kind of treating the cold in Toronto as a preview of sitting out in the cold in New Jersey.

And with that, Mat’s onto the final round.

“One step closer to that cool million,” Liana grins. “You know how big of an engagement ring you could get with that…”

You choke on your sip of water and Michael claps you on the back while Nadia frowns at Liana. “No way I need or want something that big,” you manage to squeak out. “Not to be, like, basic, but I’d take a page out of Taylor Swift’s book and marry him with a paper ring.”

Your entire face feels like it’s burning red, talking about marrying Mat in front of his parents. You do, obviously, want to marry him, but it feels strange to say so in front of his parents when you’ve only met them a handful of times.

Liana’s shit-eating grin is identical to Mat’s. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she says and when you try to say anything, she shushes you and points to the ice, where the obstacle course is starting.

“Oh, he’s locked in,” Liana says and you’re all leaning forward in your seats as Mat goes through the obstacles.

“Oh god,” you groan, covering your eyes with your hands as Mat struggles with the little nets. Liana and Nadia wince at your sides. It’s like a train wreck, you can’t look away from his struggle. When they have to bring out more pucks for him, your heart sinks into your stomach.

Mat’s time in the end is awful, and you can see his disappointment on his face when he looks up at the jumbotron. He would’ve beaten McDavid if the nets hadn’t tripped him up.

“Ah, he did his best,” Michael says and you nod. It sucks that Mat didn’t place higher, but you’re so proud of him. Considering he wasn’t even chosen to be in the Skills Competition in the first place, the fact that he made it to the final round and nearly won is an incredible effort.

Mat texts you all in a group chat that you’d honestly forgotten existed, letting you know that he still has to shower and do some media availability, so he’ll meet you all back at the hotel.

Michael and Nadia decide to head to bed and you promise to let Mat know - you’ll all get together for breakfast before Mat goes to his morning skate before the game at 3. You and Liana hang out in the hotel bar until Mat joins you a little more than an hour later, spotting you immediately and wedging himself in the few inches of space left in the arm chair you’re sitting in. He squishes you to the side with his thighs, spreading them without concern. His arms wrap around your shoulders and he kisses the side of your head. “Hey, Squeaks,” he greets you, adjusting so one of your legs is draped over his and you’re as close as you could possibly be.

“Jesus,” Liana mutters. “Get a room.”

Mat squints at her, “I would love to.”

You nudge his side and murmur, “behave,” at him. All that does is encourage Mat to get in your face and kiss you hungrily. A surprised giggle is swallowed by Mat’s mouth and Liana’s disgusted scoff makes Mat smile against your lips.

“I’m going to bed,” she pushes up from her chair. “See you two in the morning. And wear a condom, I’m not ready to be an aunt.”

You and Mat choke simultaneously, Liana’s laughter echoing as she dances away. You drop your forehead to Mat’s shoulder and he shakes his head, “she really knows how to kill the mood.”

When you shift your leg though, you can feel the bulge of Mat’s cock against your thigh. “I don’t think she killed the mood that much,” you tease, curling closer to him. “Should we go upstairs and I can reward you for being the all-star of my heart?”

“Cheesy,” Mat accuses even as he’s pulling you to your feet and guiding you to the elevator bank. “I’m exhausted though, I didn’t realize how much work the obstacle course would be.”

“I’ll do all the work, don’t you worry,” you grin at him.

Less than ten minutes later you have him on his back, cunt clenching around his cock.

“Fuck, fuck,” Mat groans, fingers digging into your hips. “Baby, god, fuck feels so good.”

You lean forward, bouncing over Mat’s cock, nails digging into his chest. “Wanted to do this all day,” you gasp. “All the posts, your fucking thighs, Mat! Been soaked for you.”

He laughs underneath you, sliding one hand to play with your clit. You whine and feel your arousal leak from your body, smearing all over Mat’s pelvis. “Thought about riding my thighs, baby?” He asks, gripping your hip even tighter and helping you bounce on him.

“Every fucking day,” you admit, choking on air when Mat bucks his hips up into yours, the head of his cock smacking against your g-spot. “All-Star Mat is my favorite Mat.”

His face is red from exertion, beads of sweat rolling down his temples, but even still you can tell that your praise is getting to him, flushing his chest pink and making his rhythm over your clit stutter. You grin wickedly down at him, knowing exactly how you want to play him.

“I’m so proud of you,” you murmur sincerely, grinding down on him. “Came in and killed it, made it look easy,” you hiccup on a particularly aggressive bounce, “so fucking handsome. My all-star. Mine, mine, mine.”

“Fuuuuck” Mat drags out the curse, bending his knees and planting his feet on the mattress so he can fuck up into you roughly. “Jesus. Wanted to win ‘cause you were there.”

You whimper every time Mat’s cock hits your g-spot, nearly there, and praise him again, “always a winner. Always my winner. Love you so much.”

Mat’s cock thickens inside of you while you clench around him and you plant your hands on his stomach for leverage and to feel his muscles bunch up in the lead up to his orgasm. He groans and squeezes a handful of your ass, bucking up into you harshly. “Gonna - sorry, baby. Need to come,” he groans your name, filling the condom with a deep growl. You keep riding him through it, replacing his hand on your clit with yours so he can grip your hips and bounce you while he finishes.

“C’mon, fill me up,” you whine, chanting his name, rolling your fingers over your clit until you finish a few seconds after him, gushing around the base of his cock and his lower stomach. You slump over his chest and Mat grunts underneath you, smoothing his hands over your ass.

“God, that was fucking amazing,” he mutters into your hair, kissing your cheek. “Gotta be the all-star more often.”

You laugh and wiggle your ass over him, cunt clenching lazily around him. “I dunno, I was supposed to take care of you, but you took over there for a bit,” you mumble against his skin.

“Couldn’t help it,” he shrugs, “looked so fucking good with your tits bouncing, that gorgeous face you make when I hit as deep as possible.” He yawns a little, swallowing the last few words of his sentence.

“Shut up,” you laugh lightly, swatting at his chest while you roll off of him, sticky and sore. Mat moves to get up, but you push him back a little and wrap a hand around his hip. “I’ve got it.” You make quick work of the condom, tying a knot at the top and padding into the bathroom to get rid of it. You rinse off quickly and bring Mat back a damp washcloth to clean off his stomach, but by the time you get back into the bedroom, he’s got one arm tucked behind his head and he’s fast asleep, letting out gentle grumbling snores.

You laugh a little to yourself, shaking your head. Men.

Still, you wipe him off carefully - not that it matters, he doesn’t move at all - and climb into bed with him, after stealing a clean t-shirt from his suitcase.

Mat chokes a little on his snore and rolls over, grabbing you around the waist and hauling you close to his chest. His arm is a strong lock over your stomach and you shift, getting comfortable before falling asleep with the warm weight of Mat’s body at your back.

You wake up a little bit later, with one of Mat’s thighs wedged in between your legs, corded muscle pressed up against your cunt, making it throb. You grind experimentally over his leg and he grunts against your hair, warm breath fanning over the back of your neck and making you shiver.

“Mat?” You whisper his name quietly and his arm tightens around your waist. You trace your fingertips over the veins on his hand.

His thigh flexes against you and you gasp, warmth pooling between your legs.

“Told you to use me,” Mat mumbles sleepily, kissing behind your ear. “Go ‘head.”

His hand is splayed flat over your stomach and he pushes gently, spurring you into movement. Your hips rock lazily over his thigh, the sleepy rhythm making it hard for you to hold onto the coil of pleasure. Mat rocks his half-hard cock into your backside and you sigh softly, heat building in your blood.

“Feels good,” he sighs, helping you move over him, eyes still shut. He hikes his thigh up higher, catching your clit on his leg hair and sensing a wave of pleasure through your body.

You whine his name, burying your fingers between your legs to help coax yourself to an orgasm. “Wanna feel you,” you whisper and Mat’s hand slips between your bodies, leaving your stomach cold, so he can roughly jerk his cock a few times, tugging until he’s harder.

He pulls you back by the hip, until his cock is nestled between your thighs and you angle back against him, slipping the head of him inside your entrance. A breathy sigh escapes your lungs and Mat rocks his hips so his cock thrusts in and out of your shallowly. Between his cock and your fingers, you’re falling over the cliff of pleasure within seconds, slick covering your thighs.

“Roll over,” you rasp, legs still trembling. You’re not about to go searching in the dark for a condom, so you settle yourself in between Mat’s powerful thighs and take him into your mouth, tasting yourself on him. Both of his hands land on your head, tangling in your hair and holding you in place while you lick at him, kissing the head of his cock and hollowing your cheeks around him until he’s coming in your mouth.

Mat groans, hips bucking up into your mouth, eyes screwed shut. “Babe, christ, love that fucking mouth,” he says hoarsely, hauling you up his body when you’re done so he can kiss you sleepily.

You’re exhausted and close your eyes again, lying over Mat’s chest, his arms wrapped around your back. “You make me so stupid,” you mumble against his collarbone, asleep before you know it.

——-

Saturday is the big game day and after your middle of the night sexcapades, you and Mat oversleep so he just barely has time for breakfast with everyone before he’s off to the arena for a little morning skate and a brief stint on NHL News.

You and the Barzals decide to take in a little bit of the Fan Fest before exploring downtown Toronto before the game starts. It’s fun to spend so much time with Mat’s family and you’re looking forward for them to coming to Long Island for Easter.

The games themselves are beyond fun to watch, since the guys are all taking it seriously while still having a good time.

When Mat and Team Bieber make it to the finals, you and Liana are beside yourselves, screaming with excitement.

“Mat willed them to a win so he can spend more time with Justin,” Liana laughs and you agree.

“Honestly, I’m not convinced he wouldn’t dump me for Justin,” you snort, snapping a picture of Mat on the ice.

Team Bieber/Matthews wins the whole thing and you know it’s just a silly fun weekend, but you can’t help be so incredibly proud of Mat and his performance all weekend. He’s been so light and happy all weekend and you know it was the break he needed to reset for the second half of the season.

After he finishes with post-game media availabilities - where he apparently mentions his future kids, much to Liana and Nadia’s delight and your slight panic, one day but definitely not any time soon - he comes and meets you all for dinner. Mat’s still buzzing from adrenaline and won’t shut up about Justin Bieber as a coach.

“He was just so invested,” he says. “Really wanted to win and knew what he was talking about.”

“Who’s a better coach,” you cut in slyly, “Justin Bieber or Patrick?”

He pins you with a wry look, as his parents laugh. “Squeaks, that’s just not fair.”

“It’s also not even a competition,” Michael points out. “I would think Patrick Roy has nothing on Justin Bieber’s enthusiasm.”

You recognize your boyfriend’s father’s sarcastic joke and giggle. Everyone knows about Patrick’s enthusiastic coaching style.

“I actually can’t wait to get back to it,” Mat says, swiping a bite of your steak off your plate. “I feel really good about the back half.”

Dinner continues comfortably for another few hours, Mat soaking up time with his family while he doesn’t have to worry about practice or a game tomorrow. Eventually, you all head back to your rooms - the Barzals are flying back to Vancouver tomorrow afternoon, while you and Mat get to enjoy the day together before the team flies in before the game.

“Oh, hey, check this out,” Mat’s nearly bouncing when you get back to your hotel room, directing your attention to a huge gift bag sitting on the bed.

You raise an eyebrow, “all star game swag?”

“Even better,” Mat’s eyes are wide. “Justin gave us all some stuff from his line.”

Muffling a giggle with your hand, you poke at the gift bag. “Justin? Your new best friend?” You ask, dryly, spotting a grey hoodie at the top of the pile.

Mat nudges you with his knuckles. “Just for that, I’m not sharing my new gear,” he informs you, pulling each item out of the bag. He’s like a kid on Christmas, giddy with each piece of merch and relaying more stories about Justin behind the bench, like you haven’t heard them all already.

You indulge him, getting ready for bed as he talks, giving him a soft, affectionate smile when he finally pauses his yapping. “You are such a dork,” you murmur, squishing his cheeks between your palms and planting a quick kiss on her pursed lips. “It’s a good thing you’re so cute.”

——

Sunday is quiet, festivities over. Mat immediately pulls on his new Drew hoodie and you snag the sweats, going for comfort over fashion for your day.

“Steal that sweatshirt and send it to me,” Liana says, hugging you goodbye.

“Over my dead body,” Mat shakes his head at her. “Buy your own.”

You sling an arm around Mat’s waist and lean into him. “Oh, calm down. No one’s stealing the gifts your boyfriend gave you,” you wrinkle your nose at him in a crinkly-eyed smile.

He snaps at the waist band of your pilfered sweats and gives you a stink eye. You laugh, “I live with you! They’re going back to our shared dresser.”

“In my drawer,” Mat says and you nod, indulging him. You both know that you’re keeping the sweats.

Once Mat’s parents and Liana are off to the airport, the rest of the day is chill. You’re soaking up the time with Mat before he goes back into the grind for the back half of the season.

“Hey,” you say at dinner later, nudging his foot with yours under the table.

Mat looks up from the menu, hair a little messy, eyes still bright from the excitement of the weekend.

“I just…I’m really proud of you,” you manage to say around the little ball of emotion in your throat. You reach across the table and lace your fingers with his and Mat squeezes them gently. “This has been the best weekend and I hope you get to bring this excitement to the back half of the season.”

His grins at you, that crooked smile of his that you love so much, and says, “having you here was the second best part of the weekend.”

“Let me guess,” you deadpan, “becoming besties with Justin was the best part?”

He nods, eyes twinkling, “yep.”

“I hate you,” you snort a laugh, smiling despite yourself.

“It’s a really close second though,” Mat assures you.

With a faint sigh, you shake your head, “I see where I stand. Maybe I’ll just have to cheer for the Leafs tomorrow.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Mat rushes to say and you kick his shin lightly.

“Of course not,” you scoff. “What kind of Long Islander would I be, rooting for the enemy?”

Mat pinches your palm, “a terrible one and an awful girlfriend too.”

You hum and say nonchalantly, “you’d think two blowjobs in a weekend, plus riding you, would cement me as best girlfriend ever.”

“Make it three and I’ll marry you right now,” Mat jokes, surprising a laugh out of your chest. Your heart skips a beat in your chest at the mention of marrying Mat, even as a little joke. You want to be his forever.

“You know,” you say, voice shaking just slightly, “marriage is all about give and take.”

Mat bumps his knee against yours, grinning wickedly. “Baby, if you wanted an orgasm, all you had to do was ask,” he says, voice low so he won’t be heard in the restaurant.

Your entire body heats with lust and you brush your fingers over your lips, hiding the involuntary little smile Mat’s words elicit. “Oh,” your voice is breathless, “well, if that’s all it takes.”

“You going to ask for what you want?” Mat asks, running his thumb over the backs of your knuckles.

Leaning forward, you hum, catching the faint hint of Mat’s cologne and the hotel shampoo. You wet your lower lip and watch as Mat’s gaze tracks the tiny movement of your tongue. Quietly, you murmur just for Mat’s ears, “I want some all-star orgasms before I become a hockey widow again.”

Mat chuckles and leans forward too so he can give you a quick kiss. “I think I can make that happen,” he replies easily, leaning back in his seat. You can see from the way his body shifts that he’s spreading his legs again. You shift in your seat, feeling hot. He smirks a little at you, clearly seeing the way your body reacts to him.

Fuck, it may be a three blowjob weekend after all.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I was given oral herpes by someone who didn't feel the need to disclose that they got cold sores before we had a one-time little dalliance.

I might've gone for it anyways. I'm self destructive. But I guess the lack of being able to choose whether to take the risk, it's left me feeling pretty bitter about the experience.

And I'm left feeling like a biohazard. I haven't really been able to explain to my friends yet why I'm suddenly extremely cagey about sharing my drinks and food. And all my favorite sexual activities are off the table forever. I know, dental dams, condoms, but half the fun of oral sex and making out is, you know, the taste, the heat, the absolute control. I was good at it.

It feels especially embarrassing since I'm ace and the whole reason I hooked up with the person was kind of... I don't know, fear that if I didn't, then we wouldn't be able to hang out anymore.

I'm not sure what I'm asking. Maybe, was it wrong for them not to disclose something like that? Considering how common it is? I feel obligated to disclose myself but maybe I'm just weird for that.

Thanks for doing what you do here.

Kind regards,

Asexual for Ethical Reasons Now I Guess

hi anon,

I don't often apologize for needing time to get to anons, because I really need people to have reasonable expectations about the amount of time I'm willing to commit to my inbox, but I am sorry for not getting to this one sooner. it's a topic that's very important to me, and I can tell you're dealing with a lot of hurt.

first off: I'm very sorry someone wasn't totally honest with you. that's never a good feeling, and especially in the context of sex it's a huge betrayal of trust. it's deeply unfair to you, and I hope you're able to recover from that.

having said that: you are not a biohazard. you're a person with an incredibly common virus. the World Health Organization estimates that somewhere around 80% of people worldwide have herpes (and that's a rough estimate, since they use different age ranges for HSV-1 and HSV-2). skip to the factual part of this tiktok at 00:10 seconds. herpes has been with us since before we were human; there's nothing disgusting or even unusual about having herpes.

herpes is different from most STIs in that it is lifelong, but that doesn't make you an unfuckable pariah. it makes you someone who may sometimes have open sores, and should give partners a heads up about your virus to avoid putting anyone in the same situation you're in. while you're at it, let them know that most people with herpes live asymptomatic and uncomplicated lives. many people never even know they have it!

I understand that spending the rest of your life with a viral buddy doesn't sound super fun right now, but I promise that as viruses go you can do WAY worse.

personally I've always felt the best way to get comfortable with something is to learn more about it. why not let clinical sexologist Dr. Doe talk to you about her own herpes, and how to be conscientious about minimizing the risk of sharing herpes with others?

or listen to writer Ella Dawson talk about learning to cope with the exact stigma you're currently struggling with?

or listen to Dr. Sydnee Smirl McElroy explain why herpes bears such a heavy stigma for such a mild virus in the first place?

you're not a biohazard, and neither is anyone else with an STI. that's a terrible way to think about yourself and others.

you're under no obligation to stop being sexually active if you don't want to be.

please don't feel that you have to have sex with anyone out of a sense of obligation anymore, but also please don't feel that herpes is a punishment. sickness isn't something that happens to people because they're bad or deserve, sickness happens to people because people get sick.

take care 💜

[04mxfutbol]

Reality (Pt. 3) (Christen Press x Reader)

A/N: I did in fact do the two versions haha. This is Alternate version 2. I hope you all enjoy it! (:

“I’m done. We’re done.” Justin said as he walked out the door.

He didn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who was still hung up on someone else. He had also read the notes you had written her. And read the notes she wrote for you. He had read them from the binder under her bed.

Christen stood in front of the door. Shocked and confused. Should she run out and save her relationship? Yes. But she didn’t.

Instead Christen ran out of her parents home as fast as she could and as soon as she did she ran to her neighbors house. Knocking frantically on the door.

“I’m coming!” Christen hears the voice of her neighbor shout. “Christen?”

“What did you mean?” Christen asks, her neighbor furrowing her eyebrows, confused as hell.

“Mean about what?”

“Years ago you told me that I should know something, when Y/N wasn’t with me.” Christen says.

“You still haven’t figured it out? Oh god. Come in, we have a lot to talk about.”

“Okay so what did you mean?” Christen asks again as she takes a seat on the couch. “Tell me.”

“You loved her Christen.”

“What?”

“Come on I knew it from the moment she walked you home the first time. You looked at her like she was practically the only person in the world.”

“She was my best friend?”

“You can’t tell me you’re seriously still in denial.”

“I-.”

“Close your eyes. Just close them and trust me.” Her neighbor says, Christen does as told. She closes her eyes.

“Now what?”

“Think back to that day, the first time she walked you home. Christen remember what happened that day.”

“Christen did you hear me?” You ask. “Christen?”

“Huh? Oh yeah that’s my house.” Christen says making you laugh.

"She asked me where my house was." Christen says, only making her neighbor laugh.

"No she didn't."

"Yes she did, I remember she did."

"Trust me I was there and that's not what she asked you, think harder."

“No I said if you want to work on the homework tomorrow.” You say as you approach her house. “I know where you live because you’ve pointed it out already.”

“Right right. Yeah let’s work on it.”

“Great.”

“Are you okay? You seem weird.” You say as you touch her forehead. “You’re sweating.”

“I’m fine.”

"You were never good at hiding it, I don't know how Y/N never saw it. Maybe it's because she loved you too."

"What? Since then?"

"You were too blind to it, but the look in her eyes said it all. I don't think she even knew it yet, so can't say."

"Wait what was I not good at hiding?" Christen asks.

"You're pretty dumb Christen. You're smart in many ways but I guess I shouldn't be surprised you suck at love."

"Hey that's rude."

"You never actually saw what you did when you were with her."

"I don't understand."

"Eight grade. After she had told you about her feelings, high school when she had her first date. I think you're forgetting I was there all the time. Most importantly July fourth of our junior year. I think you buried that one so deep for a reason."

"July fourth, the carnival?"

"The carnival yes. A lot happened that day, I was there with the both of you."

"So you're really not going to Stanford with me?" Christen asks you as you get on a ride.

"I can't."

"Why? You have a full ride scholarship."

"I just can't but you and I can't be apart one another for so long. You can call me whenever you want."

"I suppose so." Christen says and you smile.

"I love you, you're my best friend." You whisper, Christen nods as she grabs your hand.

"I love you too."

"She didn't want to go to Stanford with me."

"I wonder why." Her neighbor says as they crossed their arms.

"She loved me again?" Christen says.

"Oh Christen be serious right now, she never stopped loving you. Sure at one point those feelings weren't there anymore, but she never stopped loving you."

"She didn't?" Christen asks and her neighbor shakes their head.

"God no and neither did you."

"I-."

"You know what else happened that day?"

"What?"

Christen's neighbor gets up from the couch, opening a drawer as they grabbed something.

"This picture happened at seven pm at the carnival.”

It all flood right back in. Like if she was there again. Everything. She remembered that moment.

"You still don't understand that I don't like sweet things." You tell Christen as she tries to feed you some cotton candy. "Christen!"

"Yes you do, you especially love cotton candy." Christen says and you shake your head. "Open your mouth Y/N."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Open your mouth."

"Christen no damn it."

"Y/N open your mouth or I will open it for you."

"Alright you two, stop fighting and let me take a picture of you two, here's to the carnival before we all go to college next year."

Christen rested her head on your shoulder, and while you looked at the camera, Christen was looking at you.

"Alright three, two, one. Done. You guys come look at the pic- never mind."

"Wait why not?" You ask confused, wanting to see the picture. "I want to see it."

"Just trust me."

"Can I see?" Christen asks.

"Not today."

"Then when?" Christen asks, her neighbor putting the camera away.

"For your own good, and for her own good never." They whisper to Christen.

"Why are you showing me this picture now?" Christen asks as she looks at the picture. The smile on both your faces, Christen couldn't look away.

"I knew back then you were going to love this picture but it also meant you would shove your feelings even deeper, meaning you'd push her away even more than what you already had."

"Probably." Christen says, still not able to look away from the picture.

"You still have it."

"Have what?"

"For a Stanford graduate you really are stupid."

"No I'm not and that's mean."

"You still have that look in your eyes Christen, this is the first time you see that picture and your eyes lit up. But you had that same look when we took the picture, and the times she'd walk you home. That look was on your face anytime she was around but you never really realized."

"It was always me and her."

"Trust me Christen, everyone knew that."

"No they didn't."

"Christen. Trust me, everyone knew. Everyone knew it."

“The first day I met her she caught my attention, actually false. She never knew it but when she sat behind me, I’d hear her laugh with her friends, I don’t know why but her laugh caught my attention.”

“Ah yes history.”

“She didn’t laugh often, she was really shy. But when she would, I’d hear her laugh and I’d smile.”

“I don’t doubt it.”

“And her eyes.”

“Oh the eyes.” Her neighbor says.

“But then we formally met at practice in seventh grade. We shook hands for the first time and maybe it was the static from the stupid jersey but I felt a spark. I know cheesy but I felt it.”

“You loved her since the moment you met her, well actually since the moment you heard her laugh. God that’s so cheesy.”

Christen held the picture, never looking away. You two against the world, Christen remembered what she felt that moment. Her heart beating faster than what she could remember, her smile bigger than ever, and all she wanted to say was that she loved you from the moment she heard your laugh.

“I tried not to love her, I tried pushing those feelings away, I didn’t want to lose my best friend.”

“I mean you did either way.”

“When she told me she liked me I panicked, I didn’t want people to know. I just-.”

“You were scared.”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re still scared? Christen. You’ve grown and so has she but she’s been heartbroken enough. You let her go. You put her through so much pain. As your friend I’m telling you this because I love you. You were a shit friend to her and it amazed me how despite everything you did, she still wanted to be friends with you.”

“I know.”

"Do you? Do you really?"

"Yes, yes I know."

“Then tell me why are you so scared? Why have you been scared? Why were you trying to push these feelings away?”

“I don’t know I guess the thought of loving someone so much scared me and it still scares me. I was never as open as she was, she was so okay and open about her sexuality I mean granted she definitely had times when she was not as open of what she felt but she knew who she was, she wasn't afraid. I’m not her, I’m still not as secure and open of my own sexuality, because it's terrifying. I don’t want people seeing me differently, but also I want to be myself. And I constantly think about, what if I did tell her how I have felt this entire time. And what if one day she just decides that she doesn’t love me anymore. What if she realizes I'm not as good of a person as she thought I was. What if she realizes I'm not as secure and open as she is.”

“Christen she put up with you for a long time, and when you would run back to her she would lay her heart out again. For you. She’ll always love you because you’re you. But we both know she has always been sensitive, she feels feelings really deeply. But she would never love you any less because you're still trying to feel secure, that you're still accepting it fully. To accept yourself.”

“There were rumors you know? That she and I were dating.” Christen says as she looks at the picture that’s in her hand.

“I know. The rumors weren't helping either. Thinking you two were dating, but obviously weren't but at times it seemed otherwise. Christen, everyone knew but you, oh and Y/N."

“I pushed her away after that. It was never the same after that. I pushed her away for too long.”

“She saw you date many people, hell you dragged her with you when you were outside of the cafeteria talking to some guy.”

“She made me feel safe.”

“It was destroying her Christen. Everyone wanted to give you space with the guy but as soon as Y/N was walking away to also do the same you grabbed her and told her to stay with you because you didn’t want to be alone.”

“I didn’t want to be alone.”

“Do you know how uncomfortable that must’ve been for her?”

"I mean now I do."

"Y/N came here a couple of weeks ago and we talked."

"About?"

"Stuff that's between me and her."

"Secrets?"

"Always. But she mentioned you don't like Alex? You're very rude towards Alex?"

"She gets on my nerves." Christen says scratching her leg.

"You're jealous that Alex spends a lot of time with Y/N. You're jealous that she's spending so much time with Y/N like you used to with her."

"That's not true."

"I'm telling you what you need to hear. I'm telling you the truth, I'm telling you what I should've told you a long time ago."

"You don't know Alex, she gets on my nerves."

"I've met Alex, she's nice. You're just jealous."

"I'm not here to argue with you."

"I’m not trying to argue. I’m simply helping you see the reality I see. Can you just try and talk to Y/N maybe ask for forgiveness for once? She deserves an apology, she needs one."

"I don't think she'd even want to talk to me." Christen says as she looks down at the picture again. "She hates me."

"She could never hate you."

"I know, but sometimes I wish she could just hate me. Wouldn't it make it easier?"

"Then you'd be a mess. Christen just try to talk to Y/N, if nothing is resolved at least everything comes out and becomes clear. You both would get some closure."

"I still want her in my life."

"I hate to tell you this, but unless you clear the air, you shouldn't have her in your life, Y/N is Y/N. I think she deserves a life without so much pain. Not that you don’t have pain but she’s one to not let go easily.”

“I’ve been wanting to talk to her I just haven’t gotten the courage to do so.” Christen says.

“Don’t force yourself to do so, when you think it’s right to talk to her for the RIGHT reasons I’m sure you’ll know.”

“Thanks.”

“She’s home this week. You didn’t hear it from me though.”

“Really?” Christen asks.

“It’s the Fourth of July. She always comes home for the Fourth of July.”

Fourth of July.

“Right.”

“Who knows maybe you two could revisit an old place this weekend.”

- - - -

You were on the floor when Alex entered your room. You were grabbing the box from under your bed. You opened it and there it was, two folded pieces of paper. You grabbed the first one, unfolding it and knowing, it was part one of Christen’s note to you. The fact that it was written in pencil gave it away that it was part one. Part two was written in red pen.

Dead Turtle,

When I first met you, you were so shy. I asked you a semi awkward question but yet you answered anyway. Since then we became best friends. You never really talked to me the first year of our friendship but instead you communicated with me by notes. I liked that. It was adorable…

A whole page. A whole page that she had written for you. That was part 1. You pulled out the second part of the note. Flipping it to the back as you remembered something about it.

Part 3 until Friday. There’s four parts. I love you so so soooooo much.

You remembered it all too well, Friday came but the third part didn’t. Neither did the fourth. It never got to your hands. You had asked Christen when you’d get them but she said another day. That day never came.

“You can’t just mope around in your room.” Alex says as she takes the blanket off of you.

“I have moved on in a way where I don’t necessarily think about her often. I have a life.” You say grabbing the blanket from Alex.

“I know that.”

“But even though I can have a normal day and you know laugh and hang out with friends. I sometimes think about Christen. I know I should’ve let her go like years ago but I can’t.”

“I know that as well.” Alex says sitting on your bed. “One day you will be able to let her go, that day just isn’t today.”

“I’m going out for a walk.” You tell Alex as you get up from the floor.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Alex asks.

“I think I want to go by myself if you don’t mind.” You say as you put on clean clothes on.

“Well if you change your mind just let me know okay?”

“Thank you.”

You walked out the house, putting your cap on as you began to walk, you didn’t know where you were walking. But it seemed as if your legs had a mind of its own and you walked to the place you had met Christen.

You sat beside the building, head rested against the wall as you looked at the grass. So many memories flooding your head. Looking at the place you first met Christen. How everything changed that day.

You closed your eyes as you remembered all the good moments you had with Christen.

“Hey.”

The voice making you open your eyes as you watched Christen approach you.

“Christen. Hi.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I come here often.” You say as you look at Christen. “It’s peaceful.”

“We met here you know.” Christen says and you sigh, nodding you looked down at the pavement.

“We did.”

“I talked to my neighbor.”

“Oh?”

“Kind of glad to see you here. I wanted to find you and talk to you.” Christen says as she sits next to you.

“Well you found me.” You say turning to face Christen.

“I want to apologize, to apologize to you for all I’ve put you through. I’m sorry I wasn’t a good friend and that I hurt you in so many ways. It was so wrong of me to blame Alex for our failed relationship. It was my fault.”

“It wasn’t all your fault Christen. But thank you for apologizing.” You say with a weak smile.

Christen smiles weakly, you both turning away from each other. The only sound heard was the birds and people playing on the field.

Christen turns to look at you and she feels her heart beat fast, you looked so beautiful. Christen bit the inside of her cheek, trying to hold herself back from saying anything. But she failed.

“I never really cared about my relationships in school because I just knew they weren’t the one. None of them were the one I thought I’d want forever.” Christen says. “I just knew they weren’t the one. But when I was with you I think I always knew but didn’t believe it. But Y/N I-I-.”

“You what?”

“I can’t tell you.” Christen says with a sigh.

“Oh.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, because I do. I really do but I can’t.”

“I understand, don’t worry about it.” You say as you looked away.

“Could I maybe get your number? We don’t have to be friends again and I really don’t expect you to forgive me that quick. But I’d like to at least try and be friends?” Christen asks.

You nod and pull your phone out, exchanging numbers with each other. Sitting in front of where you first met.

“Do you maybe want to go to the carnival with me tomorrow? It’s the Fourth of July.” Christen says.

You felt so conflicted, you always wanted this but now you didn’t know anymore.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to but I wanted to ask, you know maybe go together like we used to.”

“Can Alex go?” You ask.

“That’s fine. I need to apologize to her as well.” Christen says and you nod.

Progress.

“Then we’ll meet you there.” You say.

“Great.” Christen says with a smile.

Again, you both stayed silent.

“Do you remember the notes you gave me in eighth grade?” You say breaking the silence.

“I- yeah I remember.” Christen says nervously.

You needed to know, you wanted to know what those notes said so badly.

“You never gave me part three and four.” You say and Christen sighs.

“I know.” Christen says.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

She knew why.

“Oh.” You say nodding. “Do you still have them?”

“No sorry.” Christen says and you nod.

“Well I have to go now, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” Christen says as she stands up and helps you up.

The entire conversation replaying in your head the whole day until the next day when you met up with Christen.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Christen says with a smile. “Alex, hi.”

“Hi Christen.”

“I want to apologize to you for being rude to you. It wasn’t your fault for how things went between Y/N and I.” Christen says.

“Apology accepted.” Alex says as she extends her hand out. Christen shaking her hand. “I know you were going through it.”

“Still wasn’t acceptable.” Christen says.

“It’s all in the past now.” Alex says nodding, Christen nods.

“Shall we go some rides and grab food?” Christen asks.

“Yes please.” You say smiling.

Alex smiled at how happy you were. Christen smiled as well, placing her hand in the pocket of her jeans. Playing with the pieces of paper in her pocket.

For the entire afternoon you all spent it on rides and had small breaks to grab food. Once it was seven you had all decided to officially grab food to actually eat as dinner.

So as you all finished the food you had ordered, Christen reached into her pocket. She looked up at Alex, Alex nodded as she got up and said she’d go get something to drink. Christen had found time where you weren’t around to tell Alex what she needed to do. Leaving you and Christen alone at the table.

“I lied.” Christen says as she turns to face you.

“Lied? Lied about what?”

“I lied when I said I didn’t have part three and four of the notes I wrote for you. I have them.” Christen says as she reached into her pocket, playing with the two pieces of paper.

“Oh.”

Christen pulled the two pieces of paper from her pocket.

“Here. You deserve to know what they said and to read them. I’m sorry I never gave them to you.” Christen says as she hands you the two pieces of paper.

“Really?” You ask as you grab the pieces of paper.

“Really.” Christen says making you smile.

“Can I read them now?” You ask.

“Of course.”

So you did, you opened the first one and read it. You looked at Christen and she looked nervous. You went onto the fourth note and before you could flip it over Christen stopped you.

“Before you read it, please don’t freak out. The back of this paper will make so much sense as to why I never gave you these last two notes.” Christen says as she looked at you.

You were scared and also intrigued to find out what the back of the note said. What would it reveal. You looked at Christen and placed your hand on her hand before flipping it over.

Turtle, if you’re reading this it must mean I gave it to you. (Obviously.) but I just wanted to tell you something important. Giving you this last note means I’m not afraid to tell you what I’ve been needing to tell you for a while now. Y/N. I like you. I’ve liked you from the moment we met. And I hope nothing changes between us.

- Love, Christen your best friend.

You froze. Your heart stopped beating but it also started to beat fast which didn’t make much sense. You looked up from the note and saw Christen looking at you.

“I- what?” You ask.

“Y/N I’ve loved you since the moment I met you, since the moment I heard your laugh during history. I love you and I should’ve told you sooner but I didn’t. Because I can’t love anyone else, I love you and only you. That’s why I was so jealous of everyone that went out with you, or the fact that Alex spent so much time with you. I wished that was me, that I would get to spend that much time with you. To be with you.” Christen says and you stay silent. “Y/N?”

“Sorry I’m just in shock.” You say as you set the notes down.

“I love you.”

“I’ve loved you since the moment we met Christen and you’re telling me you also loved me from the moment we met? I need a second.”

Christen reaches for your hand as she gave it a squeeze.

“It’s me and you.” Christen says and you close your eyes. “You’re my home.”

The memories, everything, it all came flooding back into your head.

“It’s me and you forever.” Christen whispered as you both laid on the grass.

“Promise?” You ask.

“I promise.”

“I love you. I always have and I haven’t stopped.” You say with your eyes closed.

Christen got closer to you as she placed her hand on your cheek.

“I’m sorry I put you through hell, I know I messed up in every way.”

“How could I not forgive you.” You say as you open your eyes and look at Christen.

“Please, give me one chance that’s all I ask.” Christen pleaded.

“You actually love me?” You ask.

“I do. I really do.” Christen says. “I always have.”

You looked at Christen, the look in your eyes was soft and delicate. The look in Christen’s eyes was pure love.

As you both looked at each other, the sound of people talking and screaming was the only thing heard. You finally moved a bit as you placed your hand on her shoulder.

Christen looked down at your lips then back up to your eyes and it was as if she read your mind. She moved her hand to the back of your neck as she leaned in and kissed you.

It was eight pm. A couple fireworks began, the moment she kissed you it had also felt like fireworks.

“I love you.” Christen whispered against your lips.

“I love you.”

“One date. That’s all I’m asking for.”

“Thought this was date one.” You say making Christen smile. She leans in to peck your lips, moving her hand down to squeeze your hand.

Alex had finally gotten back as she took her seat in front of you both.

“Everything okay?” Alex asks. You and Christen turning to face her with a smile. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Yes.” You say nodding, leaning into Christen.

“Good. So picture?” Alex asks as she takes her phone out.

Both you and Christen laugh as it reminded you of the picture you had taken years ago. You never saw it though.

“Smile.” Alex says.

Christen rests her head on your shoulder and although she didn’t tell you why she did that, only Christen needed to know.

“Fourth of July is finally ours again.” Christen whispers making you smile.

“Ours.” You whisper back as you kiss her cheek.

“So what are we waiting for? Shall we go on more rides?” Alex asks.

“Yes let’s go. Alex remind me to get Y/N some cotton candy.” Christen says as she helps you up.

“Cotton candy? I thought you didn’t like cotton candy?” Alex says confusedly.

“I don’t.” You say looking at Christen.

“She does. Trust me.” Christen says as you all begin to walk to a ride.

“Christen for the last time I don’t.” You say with a groan.

“Yes you do.” Christen says as she grabs your hand. “You LOVE it just like you love me.”

“I love you but I don’t love cotton candy. It’s okay I suppose.”

“She loves it.” Christen says as she turns to look at Alex.

“So it’s going to be us three now?” Alex asks.

“Yeah.” You and Christen both say.

Fourth of July was once again a day that you knew you’d spend with Christen at the carnival. Eating curly fries and given cotton candy.

Every year it would be the same. Alex still tagged along. You were happy.

You not only found out what the note had said, but you also knew Christen loved you.

It was a beautiful reality. You were with the one you loved, your best friend and your girlfriend were finally friends who didn’t hate each other. But now went shopping together and made plans together.

Christen formally asked you to be her girlfriend that same night as she walked you home. Happily, you said yes.

Years later she asked you to marry her, you also said yes. You were in peace and with the love of your life. Christen wasn’t afraid anymore, she knew you loved her just as much. You were both happily in love.

You were so afraid of facing reality before, but now.. now you were with the one person you had loved your whole life. And being with that person made it so much easier and fun when you faced reality.

[anonymousewrites]

One Hell of a Love (Book 1) Chapter Fourteen

Sebastian Michaelis x Demon! Reader

Chapter Fourteen: One Hell of a Deer

Summary: (Y/N) loses their patience with the prince after he throws a tantrum.

            “How long do you two intend to stay for?” questioned Ciel as he, Lau, and Soma ate together and Sebastian, (Y/N), and Agni served them.

            “Once we’ve taken care of our business, we will leave,” said Soma.

            “That’s right. You said you were looking for someone, right?” said Lau.

            “And why are you staying here as well?” demanded Ciel.

            “Really, I wonder,” said Lau, being vague as usual.

            “I’m looking for a woman,” said Soma. He showed the really terrible drawing. “Her name is Mina. She was a servant at my palace.”

            “Sebastian, (Y/N), would you be able to look for her with that?” said Ciel.

            “No,” said (Y/N) bluntly.

            “But we shall endeavor to do our best,” said Sebastian.

            “So, why is that woman in England?” asked Ciel.

            “Mina was my personal attendant and like a caretaker to me,” said Soma. “I’ve been with her for as long as I can remember. My mother and my father paid me no heed, leaving me alone in the palace all the time, but Mina was always by my side. However, there was an English nobleman who had his eye on her, and he took her to England while I was away from the palace.”

            “In other words, you came to England to get a woman back?” said Ciel.

            “That’s right. I’ll definitely get her back, and then we’ll go home together,” said Soma.

            “It’s an extravagant trip for just one servant,” remarked Ciel.

            “It’s not extravagant!” declared Soma. He grabbed Ciel by the shoulder. “Do you understand my despair at having Mina taken away from me? Do you know how much I—!”

            “I don’t,” said Ciel. “I have no idea, nor desire to know, of the despair that can be caused by something as trivial as that.” He shoved Soma away. “There are things that you cannot get back no matter how much you struggle. There is also despair that you cannot escape. You may not understand that, though.”

            “Even so, I still had enough of being alone in that palace,” said Soma.

            “Tch.” Ciel passed by Sebastian and (Y/N) as he left the room. “Follow them if they leave the mansion.” The demons nodded.

l

            Sure enough, Sebastian and (Y/N) spied Agni leaving in the dead of night. (Y/N) stretched down to the parlor window and opened it to where Lau and Ciel were playing cards.

            “Young Master, Agni is on the move,” said (Y/N).

            “Very well. Follow—” began Ciel.

            “Take me with you!” said Soma, appearing in the doorway.

            “You!” said Ciel.

            “I know Agni has been sneaking out after I fall asleep,” said Soma sadly. “I want to find out what he’s doing!”

            Ciel sighed. “Fine.”

l

            “Whose residence is this?” asked Soma as they watched Agni enter a large townhouse.

            “A man who imports all the Indian goods he can get his hands on: Harold West,” said Ciel. “His business is coffee houses and emporiums. I met him once. He’s nothing more than a detestable rogue.”

            “Some coffee houses were caught up in the inverted-hanging incidents,” remarked Sebastian. “However, no harm befell Mr. West since he was coincidentally away that day.”

            “How fortunate for him,” said (Y/N), nose twitching.

            “Shall we take a look, then?” said Ciel.

            “Understood,” said Sebastian. He picked up Ciel under his arm and leapt over the wall, followed by (Y/N). Soma and Lau were quick to follow (But they had to climb).

            The group crept quietly through the halls of the townhouse until they were outside the one lit room where voices murmured within.

            “How about relaxing with a Scotch?” said West. “It’s a high-quality Scotch I bought from Justin and Brookes, who hold a Royal Warrant.” Agni didn’t move, and West sighed. “The plan up to now has been perfect. Well done, Agni. You don’t have to cause any more incidents. I’ve rid myself of my main rivals now. With your ‘Right Hand of God,’ the Royal Warrant is as good as mine.”

            “Royal Warrant?” murmured Ciel. “So, that’s what this is about.”

            “If I can complete this plan as you wish, can Mina—”

            Agni was cut off as Soma stormed into the room at the mention of the woman. “Mina?”

            “Who is that?” questioned West.

            “Prince!” exclaimed Agni.

            Ciel went to yell at Agni, but Sebastian pulled him back. “Young Master, your face and mine are well known. Let us sit back and watch.”

            “Agni, you knew where Mina was?!” cried Soma, grabbing Agni’s collar.

            “Ah, so that’s your master,” sneered West.

            “You’re the one who took Mina, aren’t you?” demanded Soma. “Agni, rough this man up.” Agni didn’t move. “Agni, what are you doing?”

            “Well, for now, let’s get Prince Stupid out of here,” muttered Ciel in the hall.

            “But they know all of your identities,” said Lau.

            “Leave it to me,” said Sebastian.

            “Agni, strike this ‘prince’ and quiet him down,” ordered West.

            “What?” gasped Soma.

            “Agni,” pushed West.

            Agni raised a hand, prepared to strike Soma, and the prince’s eyes widened in betrayal. The hand flew down.

            It was caught.

            Everyone’s eyes widened. A man with a deer head stood tall between the Indian men.

            “What the hell?! Is that a bloody deer?!” cried West in astonishment (and a little horror).

            Well, that’s a fun way to disguise yourself, thought (Y/N).

            “Yes, thank you for pointing out the obvious. I am a ‘dear,’ ” said Sebastian in the deer head, clearly amused at the homonym. He bowed.

            “Agni! He might be a spy!” cried West.

            “No, I am merely one hell of a deer,” said Sebastian.

            He loves that line, thought (Y/N) in amusement.

            “Kill him!” cried West. “Or do you want that promise to go up in smoke?! Do it!”

            Tears of blood dripped from Agni’s eyes. “I have only one god and master, and I decided to swing my fists for no one but him. Please forgive me for the sins I commit against you!”

            “Agni, you aren’t…!” Soma watched in betrayal as Agni unwrapped his right hand, and he began to glow with power.

            He lunged at Soma and Sebastian, but Sebastian picked up Soma and dodged. The wardrobe behind them shattered at Agni’s blow. The destruction continued as Sebastian jumped around the room and Agni’s blindly attacked.

            “No! The crystal glass I bought from Thomas Good!” wailed West. “The Royal Worchester centerpiece! My Tiffany stained glass!”

            He deserves this, thought (Y/N), grinning as they watched the man lose his material possessions.

            “Looks like it’s getting a bit rough,” said Lau. He picked up Ciel, who spluttered indignantly. “Let’s go on and get out of here.”

            “Put me down! (Y/N)!” cried Ciel.

            “Sorry, sir, orders don’t work on me,” said (Y/N), far too amused at Lau holding Ciel to help him.

            “Blood hell! Just grab the prince and escape!” said Ciel.

            “Understood,” said Sebastian, leaping out the window while Ciel, Lau, and (Y/N) exited the house.

l

            “He far surpassed the scope of a human back there,” observed Lau once they were safely back and the three men were drinking tea.

            “That was the concentration technique known as Samadhi,” said Soma. “Once he gets like that, no one can touch him.”

            “Samadhi?” asked Ciel.

            “It’s a type of trance state,” explained (Y/N). “Through pure devotion, like that of Agni to Prince Soma, people are able to wield tremendous power. It is something we lack; the power of faither born of love and trust.”

            And yet… The demons glanced at one another.

            “Then why would he betray me?” sighed Soma. “Why does everyone around me disappear?!” He slammed his fists on the coffee table. He swept the teacups and tea off the table in a tantrum.

            “You!” cried Ciel.

            “Why is it? Why?” Soma’s shoulders shook. He ran out of the room.

            (Y/N)’s eyes narrowed as they stared at the broken porcelain on the floor.

            “Oh, dear, I brought that Haviland tea set out because I thought it suited you so well…” remarked Sebastian. He smirked. “It may be a good idea for him to be redisciplined.”

            “I never have liked the spoiled ones,” said (Y/N).

l

            Sebastian roughly pulled the blanket off of Soma, throwing him to the floor.

            “You rude swine!” cried Soma.

            “Just who is the rude swine?” questioned Sebastian coldly. “This is the Phantomhive mansion in England. In this place, you have no authority to order me to do anything.”

            “You are nothing more than a spoiled brat,” said (Y/N). “A powerless, naïve child without Agni by your side.”

            “That’s right. I have nothing else left.” Soma hung his head. “I’ve lost everyone.”

            “Lost? My goodness, you have a most unbelievable imagination,” said Sebastian. He smirked. “You haven’t lost anything. You never had it in the first place.”

            (Y/N) leaned down towards Soma, and Sebastian recognized the demonic glint in their eye. It had been a while since he’d seen (Y/N) really lay into someone, tear their ego to pieces, and he was looking forward to it.

            “Your parents gave you status. Your parents gave you a palace. Your parents gave you servants. Tell me, what of that is truly yours? Nothing,” said (Y/N). The shadows around them quivered.

            “No…” murmured Soma.

            “Agni, too, of course, but you lacked the courage to confirm it,” said (Y/N) with a condescending sigh, like they were speaking to a child.

            “Y-You’re wrong!” cried Soma. He ran for the door, but (Y/N) slammed it shut.

            “Me, wrong? No, dear prince, you’re just finally seeing the tragedy that is your life,” purred (Y/N).

            Soma sobbed and fell to his knees. “They all said they’d be with me forever.”

            “Quite clearly that was another service to you. There is no reason to serve someone for no personal gain,” said Sebastian coldly.

            And yet… whispered a soft voice in his head. And yet they are still here.

            Sebastian ignored the voice and continued. “In the slums, even a three-year-old knows that.”

            “You have not earned anything from anyone. You are just a brat,” said (Y/N).

            Sebastian’s eyes fell upon them. This time, he didn’t need a voice needling him. The thoughts of just how sinfully alluring they looked wrapped in shadow and moonlight as they lorded over a human came without cease. That was the demon (Y/N) was. And that was yet another side of them Sebastian simply couldn’t get enough of.

            “Let’s leave it there,” said Ciel, appearing in the doorway.

            “Young Master,” said Sebastian.

            “I might have been the same as him, if not for that month,” said Ciel somberly.

            “Wh-What month?” asked Soma, getting to his feet.

            “I was forced to taste the humiliation of having my house burned, my family killed, and being treated as less than a barn animal,” said Ciel. “I was a powerless child, but I returned here in order to bestow the same humiliation upon those who tortured me. My parents were in the way of those who killed them. If the Phantomhives are a nuisance to them, if I continue to hold the reins of this household, they’ll probably target me again. I am waiting for them to come for my life.”

            “Why would you go that far?” asked Soma.

            “What could come of sitting around sad and in mourning?” said Ciel. “Even a dead person can stay still, but I’m alive and standing on my own two feet. If I’m going to end up dying one day, I’d rather do it with no regrets. I wouldn’t call it something as grand as revenge. It’s all just to make me feel better. It’s a game between them and me to see who will win. Even if I’m flung into the depths of despair, if there is even a spider’s thread I can use to climb out, I’ll grab it and never give up. We humans have strength to do that. However, whether to grab it or not is up to each individual.”

            (Y/N) raised an eyebrow at the speech. Strong words for so small a human. But they respected the drive. They understood why Sebastian took him as his contract.

            “Now, let’s stop this ridiculous babble,” sad Ciel. “Sebastian, (Y/N), I have something to discuss with you on the West incident. Come.” He walked out of the room.

            “Yes,” said Sebastian.

            (Y/N) smiled, a stark contrast to the dark aura that had surrounded them as they spoke to Soma earlier. “Yes, my Lord.”

            “Ciel!” said Soma. Ciel paused. “I am seventeen, but I am totally idiotic and naïve compared to you! I’ve been spoiled only because of who my parents are. Even though I knew Agni was troubled, I didn’t hear him out, but now I want to know. I want to see them both and find out why they left me. That’s why! Please come with me!”

            “I refuse.” Ciel shut the idea down almost comedically. “There’s no way I’m dragging around the weight of a naïve idiot like you. I suppose the door to the living room isn’t locked, though.”

            “Ciel!” Soma’s face lit up and he hugged Ciel. “I’m sorry for lashing out at you like that before. Please forgive me.” He hid behind Ciel as he faced Sebastian and (Y/N). “I want to say sorry to you two as well.”

            (Y/N) waved a hand and smirked with Sebastian. “Don’t trouble yourself. This is quite interesting.”

l

            “To think that West was after a Royal Warrant,” said Ciel as Sebastian served tea. “Well, I suppose that’s something a detestable rogue would think of.”

            “What exactly is a Royal Warrant?” asked Soma. He jumped as (Y/N) set a teacup down beside him, and they smirked.

            “It’s an endorsement given by royalty to shops they like. A Royal Warrant is the British Royal seal of approval,” said Sebastian. “A week from now, there will be a curry contest conducted at the Crystal Palace.

            “Curry?” said Soma.

            “Yes,” said (Y/N).

            “According to rumors, Her Majesty—a famed curry lover—may also come and observe,” said Sebastian.

            “That’s just a rumor,” said Ciel. “Since the death of her husband Prince Albert, Her Majesty rarely makes public appearances.”

            “How is the curry contest connected to the incidents?” asked Soma in confusion.

            “The main dish at West’s coffee house is curry,” said Ciel. “If he secures the Royal Warrant, his sales will undoubtedly go up. In other words, in order to reduce the number of rivals in that contest, he had Agni carry out those incidents. He then used the message to make it seem like the incidents were caused by Indians who were angry with England. Agni probably went along with the plan to save Mina for the sake of his ‘god.’ ”

            Sebastian handed Ciel a piece of paper, and the Earl regarded it before laying it on the table. It was a copy of the letter West had ordered written to divert attention from himself as a suspect. “Speaking of gods,” said Ciel, pointing to the tongue drawing. “Yours is the Goddess Kali with her tongue stuck out, and since Agni was the one who wrote this, and his god is you, it must have been all for your sake. He’s probably written all his prayers and feelings of regret here.”

            And now Soma has the choice to lay there and do nothing or rebuild himself, thought (Y/N).

            “Even though you’re apart, Mr. Agni still believes in you and lives for you,” said Sebastian. “You really do have a wonderful servant, don’t you?”

            “Agni…” murmured Soma.

            “Oh, my. All’s well that ends well,” said Lau brightly. “Well, then, we shouldn’t get involved any further. Let’s just leave it to Scotland Yard.”

            “Hold on! What will happen to Agni and Mina?” said Soma worriedly.

            “Who knows?” said Lau.

            “We’ve determined that there’s no underworld involvement, so it’s not our concern,” said Ciel.

            “Indeed. This is my problem. I’ll think of a way to resolve everything by myself,” said Soma.

            “That’s an excellent resolution,” said Ciel. “Well, then, I shall be getting on with my own work myself. I was called out to London in winter for this idiotic case. Don’t you think I should be compensated for my expenses?” Ciel was scheming. “Luckily, all of the other famous curry shops have been knocked out of the competition by West. If the Phantomhive company participates and beats West, we’ll receive the Royal Warrant. I’ve been considering expanding into the food industry, anyway. If we become the supplier to the Royal Household in our first endeavor, it’s sure to create a stir.”

            “But there’s one week left, right?” said Lau. “Will you be able to get the specialists and machinery in time to make the curry?”

            “I don’t need any of that,” said Ciel. “Isn’t that right?” He smirked as he glanced up at Sebastian and (Y/N).

            Sebastian smirked. “It is only natural for someone who serves under the Phantomhives to be able to do this. I will obtain the Royal Warrant without fai—”

            “That’s impossible,” said Soma. “There’s no way you can win. They have Agni, and he has the goddess Kali’s right hand!”

            “It is true that Agni’s prowess is formidable, but this time we are not dealing with martial arts,” said Ciel. “This is a contest of cooking skill.”

            “That’s why I’m saying it,” said Soma. “None of you know Agni’s true skill. Neither do you know real curry.”

            “Real curry?” asked (Y/N), raising an eyebrow.

            “Curry is based on a selection of fitting spices. The number of combinations is endless,” explained Soma. “Finding the supreme combination from those infinite choices is like looking for a needle in a haystack. It is akin to pulling the truth of the universe from thin air. However, Agni is able to do it. He is able to imagine the world from nothing. That power is truly of the gods’ domain. That is why Agni is known as the goddess Kali’s right hand. I have never eaten curry more delicious than Agni’s.”

            “I see. It is truly Kali’s Curry,” said Lau. He laughed at his alliteration.

            “So he says,” said Ciel.

            “My, my. That seems quite the challenge,” said Sebastian.

            “Could be fun,” said (Y/N), smirking.

            “Indeed.”

l

            Days and quite literally hundreds of curries later, Sebastian was stuck. (Y/N) watched him return from serving Ciel tea with an annoyed quirk in his brow.

            “The Young Master not pleased with your progress?” they said teasingly.

            “No, but he did give a rather interesting order,” said Sebastian, holding a piece of chocolate in his hand, having gone uneaten by the irritated (and irritating) Earl.

            “Oh?” (Y/N) cocked their head in interest.

            Sebastian snapped off a piece of chocolate and handed it to them. “How does it taste?”

            (Y/N) placed the sweet in their mouth and allowed it to melt, savoring the tastes. One thing they were glad of after being born from a human life was that they still had a taste for human food. Sebastian had to relearn how to properly create human food when there were long breaks in time between contracts, but (Y/N) could still understand them (a fact that, once he learned it, irritated him to no end).

            “A perfect balance of bitterness and sweetness,” said (Y/N).

            “Excellent,” said Sebastian.

            “Why?” asked (Y/N).

            “The Young Master ordered me to put it in the curry.”

Taglist:

@technikerin23

@im-making-an-effort

@izzieg3987

@jinxxangel13

@alexpangender

@otomyoli

@neenieweenie

@nex-crowley

@anxious-chick

@bellacastiel

@v1l-ismissing

@agentdedf1sh

[ealvara7]

I Saw Beetlejuice the Musical on Tour!!! 🪲 ✨️

Ever since I got more into musicals, I told myself that I wanted to go back into a theatre at some point as an adult. I only ever recalled going when I was in elementary school... which has sadly faded in my memory.

Lo and behold, I learn that the Beetlejuice Tour was coming to the James M. Nederlander Theatre! I figured now was the perfect time to go see it!

When I initially got into Beetlejuice the Musical, I didn't think that I was going to like the Tour cast as much as Broadway's, but over time, I grew an appreciation for them, and it got me excited to see the cast in person.

I do not regret this decision one single bit.

For this post, I'm going to mainly focus on my personal experiences at the theatre, both in and out of the show. If you'd like to hear my thoughts on the main story and set changes in the Tour, please check out this post! This is still gonna be quite lengthy, so I will be leaving this under a "read-more".

Thank you for reading! ✨

-

I got tickets to go see the musical on the night of the 22nd. My plan was to go check out the merch stand before I sat down to watch the show, because I did not want to get up during intermission. I was able to do that with half an hour to spare! I felt so relieved because I honestly thought that my mom and I were running late-

Unfortunately... Jackera Davis did leave the Tour after performing in Kentucky... so I did not get a chance to see her. I did, however, get the chance to see the new actor for Skye - Madison Mosely, and she is lovely!

I did get to see Justin as Beetlejuice and Isabella as Lydia! It was genuinely so surreal to me that for both Prologue: Invisible, and The Whole "Being Dead" Thing, I just... froze up? It was like... reverse stage-fright, like the realization just hit me that these actors could quite possibly see me, because I was sitting up front by the left orchestra-

Aside from Justin as Beetlejuice, Isabella as Lydia, and Madison as Skye, I also recognized the following:

Will Burton as Adam

Jesse Sharp as Charles

Sarah Litzsinger as Delia

Abe Goldfarb as Otho

Brian Vaughn as Maxie Dean

It was difficult for me to tell who Juno/Maxine Dean was because of the makeup, but looking back at the cast on the official site, I'm pretty confident at this point that it was Kris Roberts. I had a similar confusion with Miss Argentina, but I did get to meet Hillary Porter at the stage door, so it was easier for me to deduce that it was her-

I noticed right away that the actor playing Barbara wasn't Megan McGinnis, so I decided to look back at the cast list after the show. With it and some extra help from Instagram, I was able to find out that it was Lexie Dorsett Sharp! I honestly loved her performance as Barbara! She's not afraid to be silly, and I also felt that she played off of Will and Justin's performances very well!

Something that I really enjoyed about being in the left orchestra section was that I was not only able to see a couple of technical moments happening offstage (such as an individual holding up the long arm that gives Beetlejuice a microphone), but there where moments where I can hear the actors saying certain things that weren't picked up on their microphones. One example of this was during That Beautiful Sound. Lee N Price, who played the pizzaman, was being puppeteered by Beetlejuice, and I swear, at one point I heard him go, "Oh my god!" Even though no one else in the back could hear it, our section most certainly did, and we got a kick out of that reaction-

The show went on pretty much as I expected up until Adam and Barbara wake up from their electric shock... I had been focusing on Barbara up to this point because I wanted to see how they set up the fire trick on her hand and... it never happened? Instead, right after Adam asks, "Why... can't I feel my pulse?" Barbara tries to feel her own and begins to panic, continuing the rest of the scene as it usually is.

I also noticed that Beetlejuice pockets Lydia's note, rather than burning it. It made me realize that the team were most likely not allowed by the theatre to use pyrotechnics in the show. Considering where the James M. Nederlander Theatre is located, it begins to make a lot of sense...

During the scene after Fright of our Lives, Justin (as Beetlejuice) just goes off on the line, "I know that, Barbara!" It goes quiet for a bit, then he pretends to sob for the line, "No one's like me... that's the problem." It all culminates to Will (as Adam) slowly walking up to him, with Justin quietly and emotionally saying:

"Get the fuck away from me!"

The audience, myself included, completely lost it. I originally thought that this might've been a mistake, but according to one of my Discord friends, this bit has been going on for a couple of shows now. It's completely new to me, so it caught me off guard the when I saw it. It's the little things that always fascinate me when watching different performances of the same musical, boots or not-

The rest of Act One was pretty much the same! Something I did find interesting, however, was that near the end, rather than people cheering after Beetlejuice says the line, "It's showtime!" It was when he says, "Can everybody see me?!" that people really started roaring. It was a nice change of pace, and added to the impact of his line right after. The audience in that show was surprisingly very nice! I heard a lot of cheering from fans, especially during the scene where Adam kisses Beetlejuice.

Now, let's talk about Isabella Esler! My Discord friends have said some nice things about her, but I wasn't so sure what to expect coming into this show. The more it kept going... the more it became clear to me what they were talking about.

Isabella puts a lot of emotion into playing Lydia. She genuinely gives me the impression that the death of her character's mother put a lot of weight on her, and yet... that doesn't entirely stop her from being a spunky, rebellious teenager. For me, the peak of her performance is when she sings Home. I don't think I've ever really seen an actor that has perfectly nailed that weakness and despair that Lydia would be feeling in this scene...

Except for Isabella.

Her performance genuinely gave me chills, and as someone who is also Latin American, I couldn't help but feel proud... I can now say with great confidence that Isabella Esler is my favorite Lydia, with Jackera Davis being my very close second! 💖

Act Two was pretty much the same as I remembered it, however I'd like to give my attention to one of Justin's now famous lines in the show:

“Look, I only joke because I see myself in you… later tonight.”

According to one of my Discord friends, while there are moments where Justin is able to keep his composure after saying that line, there are other where he... just loses it and starts giggling.

I was extremely fortunate to see the latter.

I believe what happened was that the audience reaction to the joke was so big, that it began a bit of a circle effect - with Justin losing his composure, and the audience just having a ton of fun and clapping, then it repeats. It went on for quite sometime, but finally Justin was able to focus and continue going-

After curtain call, I remembered that the show shoots out streamers, so I grabbed a green and black one! I now have two big streamers to pair with my Broadway one!

(Update: I found a silver one after watching the show on the 26th! I now have a complete set!)

After I left the theatre, I went around the back. There was one thing left I wanted to see before we went home...

-

The Stage Door! ✨️

As mentioned prior, I did get to meet some of the actors at the stage door! I didn't say much beyond a, "Hello!" and, "Thank you!" to each of them, not only because it was really dark and I wanted to meet back up with my mom as soon as possible, but because I didn't want to take up too much of the actors' time. The only actor that I was able to make some small talk to was actually Isabella, who complimented me on my outfit!

At first, I thought that stage dooring just wasn't going to happen because there was not a lot of people here... but eventually, a line of people began to form, and a few of the actors were starting to come outside! It honestly wasn't as crowded or intimidating as I expected it to be, and I was very relieved about that!

I knew right away after getting tickets that I wanted to get my Playbill signed by as many people in the Tour cast as I can meet during stage door! This was the only opportunity I was going to get to have the Tour cast sign this specific Playbill, and to actually be there adds a huge layer of sentimentality that I honestly wish I had for my Broadway cast Playbills.

I was in awe by how quickly many of them came out! I made sure to bring my own silver markers, just in case! It ended up coming in super handy because the majority of the actors who were signing things at stage door didn't seem to have one...

One thing that I was super excited about when I got my Playbill signed was because I was actually there, I could confirm which signature belongs to which actor!

Admittedly, it took me some time to mark down each signature because I was not 100% familiar with the actors, but thanks to the cast list on the official website (as well as in the Playbill itself), I was able to match up the faces to who I specifically remember signing my Playbill!

I almost lost the identification of some of these signatures, but I was actually able to remember them based on some conversations I heard going on behind me! For example, Abe reenacted one of his scenes as Otho with another fan (the one where he greets Delia, to be more specific) and Janisse had mentioned to another fan that this was his last week with the Beetlejuice team, something I distinctly remember from one of the Instagram stories the day before I saw the show! Will's was super easy because he was the only one that signed my Playbill in gold (he actually offered to sign it with my silver marker, but I told him gold was ok)!

One last thing I would like to share is two of the pages I scanned containing all of the cast members in my Playbill! It was one of the things I was curious to look at when I opened it, and it was very interesting to compare with the formatting of my other Playbills!

That's pretty much it for my time at the show! ✨

It honestly went by so fast... it made me wish that I had more time to take it all in because I genuinely enjoyed being there that night! Luckily, I did end up getting another ticket for the 26th, but after that... who knows when I'll go back to a theatre?

I'm so glad that I decided to go, because Beetlejuice the Musical has become my all time favorite musical, and I don't think it would've been the same if my first musical to go see as an adult wasn't my all time favorite.

It is a memory that I will cherish forever and is quite possibly one of the greatest flexes I will ever have as a fan.

[wellcomeoneileen]

Post 2/? on Processing QaF

End of qaf -technical points. 

This is a very logistical view on the literal end of the show. My more thematic l thoughts about the whole final season are also under this tag, in post 1. Again, conceding that I am very new to an established fandom and this is my immediate processing of finishing my recent obsession, and there are probably several other posts like this floating around.

I read every spoiler possible. I read nearly every fanfic possible all before I watched any of the last season of QaF. The endless thought pieces really did help sooth me for seasons four and five. I think I was a much more at peace with them than fans who were watching it live back in 2005. But the last one or two episodes had me pausing with my jaw dropped multiple times. I hated it!

And I contemplated why - when I knew every single thing that was gonna happen, even several lines of dialogue I knew!

And I think it comes down to the breakneck pacing and editing.

:readmore:

Because right after finishing, I paced around my home angrily muttering over what had happening. And outlining the end like that, even though I was in a mood, still sort of made sense. 

Brian has been a sex god for several seasons. He let down his guard to let Justin in. Out of fear, he did what fans/Justin thought they wanted, and asked for marriage/said I love you with Justin. Brian loves him enough to not force him to stay, Justin loves him enough to not make him change. Peacefully and lovingly, they go their separate ways with the strong and insinuation that they will either do long distance or reconcile. That sounds good! It was horrible to watch.

The show betrays itself by acknowledging the Britin arc is the most important to the show and viewers by saving it for the penultimate scene. The final episode(s) have all really revolved around Brian. Even the girls leaving was really about Brian (in its show presentation, at least). And Brian and Justin have the final scene of all the characters resolving their storylines. The final, final scene was an ensemble one (as it should be for an ensemble show) which reflected on the show as a whole. That was the epilogue, because Britin was the denouement.

This is tough in two ways.

First, because the Britin arc has a bittersweet end, yet felt more like the writers wagging their finger at the audience instead of a thoughtful conclusion that was necessarily bittersweet. Whole other post.

Second, because of their editing – both storyline wise and visual execution wise.

The decision to show Justin and Brian in bed together, not even see Justin leave, and then show Brian in bed alone was pretty cutthroat. I literally paused and my jaw dropped – but not in a good, teary way, or my heart strings were pulled way, but in a … I felt like the writers were kind of flipping me off? Or flipping the actors off? I literally googled if Randy Harrison had fought with the showrunners because of that (and allegedly, yes, lmao. You can tell!!!). That was just an unpleasant viewing experience.

Then, the writers did not give any sort of breathing room for that emotional beat to end and then the series finale beat to begin. There is no space between Brian being left alone and Brian and Michael going to the club and then dancing. No space timewise, plotline wise, or even visually, as they literally meld the end of Britin into the start of Brian/Michael final.

Because of this, even though I’m sure it was written and outlined as very separate plot points for separate emotional beats for separate scenes, it doesn’t feel that way as an audience member.

Instead, it feels like a run-of-the-mill action-reaction pair for a singular emotional beat. It doesn’t feel, or look, like two separate, contained, emotional beats.

Without being able to digest a very bittersweet conclusion to what is arguably the most important plot line of the entire show, it still feels like we’re still wrestling with that in the final scene. It is LEAPING from denouement to epilogue, which even tacky, bittersweet rom-coms don’t do, if you pay attention ( I am literally thinking of how the HARRY STYLES FANFICTION movie Idea of You handled this similar thing better, good lord.)

Therefore, watching Brian dance alone, while we’re being told the thumpa thumpa goes on, feels like he’s being reset. Because we go oh sad, Britin is getting a bittersweet end :/ then THIRTY seconds later we are seeing Brian party and it’s impossible for audience members to not directly connect those dots. Those are the only dots we’re shown!!

I read a 2005 livejournal where stayci28 said she viewed the end as more symbolic than real. It’s about the queer community continuing matter what and it’s really about people will continue to rise up. No matter what is being given to them and they will persevere, they will be proud, they will be here and they’re not gonna go anywhere. That’s a beautiful sentiment, makes a lot of sense, and is a fitting conclusion for the WHOLE show after the Britin bit is wrapped up.

However, Ron Cowan himself said that was only half true in an interview here: https://bjfic.livejournal.com/2528384.html?

He said that the dance was real and was one last outing. Though the sentiment is true – the scene was meant to be about queers surviving, not Brian being alone or an old party boy. (sidenote: see post 1 for me complaining that if this is one last outing…what is Brian doing, exactly, with his time now??)

But the editing and the pacing did not give the audience that space - and so the final scene still seems to be solely about Brian, not about the overall message of queer survival and joy. It LOOKS, at least, like (as Tumblr user @sophsun1 said) Brian was out with no son, no lover (who was in the city he wanted to be in), in a burnt out club. Rip.

The smallest of changes, like having the Britin ending coming earlier in the episode, or even inserting a single “breathing” scene between the Britin and finale scenes would have established the scene beats much better. Honestly, just changing Michael’s awful line (really that whole convo) about Brian always being young and beautiful to simply be about the ~~hopeful future~~ would have set the tone to be not about Brian being miserable.

When I see really old comments online about the end, I don’t get the sense that people fully “got” the end. From what I’ve seen, even fans who were okay with a bittersweet end weren’t really connecting that the finale wasn’t showing Brian miserable, lol.

I think the writers continuously structured the show to revolve around Brian and Britin, then wrote themselves out of that with various in your face plots/dialog, but ignored that beyond the literal words on script, story STRUCTURE impacts viewing experience just as much! These final two scenes display the embodiment of that issue.

The writers desperately needed to slow down, allow digestion, and visually show a divide of scenes if they had wanted the audience to comprehend the last two scenes as separate beats and not action/reaction.

Later this week, I have lots of thoughts about S5 replacement plotlines that would have easily fit into Cowlip’s established world, and a lot about Brian Kinney’s value system and internalized gender issues :)

[sitp-recs]

HP Rec Fest, Day 20

I almost didn’t get this post ready on time but here we are for another @hprecfest day and I love today’s prompt! Some fandoms like Drarry are strongly driven by shippy feels and it’s easy to overlook great Gen fics. I rarely read them, but the G and T fics I’ve enjoyed have left a big impression on me. After allowing myself to rec popular smutty series yesterday I’m very happy to share two underrated comfort fics!

Day 20) a fic rated G:

Drarry

Tidings of Comfort series by @blamebrampton (G, 10k)

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life. Luckily for Draco Malfoy, London has places where the tired can rest and recover.

BB is my go-to when I’m looking for top quality Gen fics - she’s written a total of 10 for HP and I can attest they’re all fantastic reads, charming, clever, creative and entertaining like few stories are. it was hard to pick just one but I chose by a) number of comments and b) Christmassy vibes. Tidings of Comfort (how brilliant is that title alone?) is an all-time favorite advent read when it comes to redemption arc. it has such a wistful evocative vibe, gorgeous religious refs and Draco and Harry’s voices are wonderfully mature and full of personality. their tentative reunion and existential conversations provide so much insight into their lives and background it’s crazy to think this series is just under 10k. I’m in love with the quiet and exploratory slow burn, cautious but full of promise; it becomes even more serendipitous due to the Christmas magic surrounding their encounter. a wonderful pre-slash read, sensitive and poignant, and a perfect treat for this holiday season!

Rare pair

Aftermath by @static-abyss (Harry/Ron, G, 2.7k)

A soulmate, Ron knows, is someone chosen, not destined.

my kingdom for a Rarry soulmate AU 😭 this trope fits the ship so perfectly and as always Ana kills me softly with the loveliest short fic. something about Harry’s tender longing for Ron hits me just right; his pov is very insightful and there’s a brilliant scene in which he analyses Justin that stayed with me for a long time (“He thinks of Sirius and his father, of how being raised in money makes it easy to believe that everything will always be taken care of” - what a quote!). I love his camaraderie with Ron and the way both romantic and platonic love are explored here - this fic gets into my favourite thing about Rarry which is the fact that Ron is “the first the first person Harry loved who loved him back.” I feel like that’s such a powerful yet overlooked aspect of their friendship and I love seeing it acknowledge here. the fic has also a creative take on Harry’s soulmark changing after the war which was really interesting and perfect angst material! I urge all Rarry lovers to go check this gem and give it a little love ❤️

[sparklepocalypse]

Okay I wanna hear your recs for when you just wanna get lost in another world!

xoxo MJ/kiwiana-writes

Oh hey, @kiwiana-writes! These are multifandom, because there are so many good fics out there in so many fandoms that just provide such good escapism catalysts! They're also, to nobody's surprise, all epic AUs. (And also, hopefully you're not surprised that one of your fics is on the list. 💕)

RWRB: Where the Spirit Meets the Bones by milowren [WIP; Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, E, 48.7k words] I rarely, rarely start WIPs; this AU is one of few exceptions. Alex's mom buys a Victorian era mansion after the end of her second Presidential term. Part murder-mystery, part romance, part modern magic, all fantastic.

RWRB: A Practical Arrangement by you!! (kiwiana!!) [Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, E, 19.8k words] I'm fairly certain that I yelled at you over multiple platforms when I got to the end of the first chapter of this arranged marriage AU... Henry and Alex have been betrothed for three years, and the big day has finally arrived. Just... a phenomenal story.

RWRB: But I love him, whether or no. by @leaves-of-laurelin [Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, E, 77.1k words] Henry moves to NYC to help Pez open a bar. He falls in love with firefighter Alex, who works at the fire station right across the street. Super great friends-to-lovers AU. RWRB: All the Old Showstoppers by @cha-melodius [Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, E, 20k words] This was one of the AUs that really stood out to me when I first started my deep dive into reading fic in this fandom. Alex skips the royal wedding, and three years later he and Henry meet as competitors on The Great Celebrity Bake Off. Delicious.

Five more multifandom recs under the jump; ask me more sleepover weekend stuff!

MCU: A Story We Must Tell by AHM1121 and MissyRivers [Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, E, 166.2k words] An epic AU in which ex-military author James Barnes and ex-military lumberjack/fisherman Steve Rogers meet and fall in love. This one took me a couple days to read, and I'm glad I took my time because it's beautiful.

Boyband RPF: The Way You Know Him by Kaelie and Bethann [JC Chasez/Justin Timberlake, M, 191.2k words] This is boyband RPF, but it's so AU that you'll have to squint to recognize the pop stars' personalities. Justin is new to a publishing house, and JC is on the board. I remember when this was first being published, I waited with bated breath every month for The Way You Know Him Day because I loved it so, so much. That has not changed.

Star Trek: Take Refuge in What You Know by CorpusInvictus [James T. Kirk/Spock, E, 120.3k words] Kirk is new to his apartment building and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor, Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's a beautiful enigma. This one will hurt your heart in the best way. Mind the tags, though.

The Pacific: The History Books Forgot About Us (And The Bible Didn't Mention Us) by callmejude [Mariell "Snafu" Shelton/Eugene Sledge, E, 116.9k words] A canon (history?)-divergent AU in which Eugene and Snafu bond in a different way after one of their squadmates is shot.

Smallville: Family Portrait by tzigane and zaganthi [Clark Kent/Lex Luthor, E, 130.6k words] An AU in which Lex Luthor is orphaned at a young age, and his mother's will stipulates that she wishes for Martha and Jonathan Kent to become his guardians. Slow, slow burn.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Hi! Happy Friday! On the Blake Lively thing...

I´ve been a romance reader (smut, dark, fantasy, mafia, regency..you name it, I´ve read it.) for much longer than many of those influencers on booktook. I´m not saying this as a flex, just for context. I´ve been reading them since 14 and I´ll be 40 this Halloween. Many of this "promoters" have their following and are directly responsible for the promoting of lots of mediocre books on SM (Ig and TT, mostly). Now, just because they recommend these books and create a hype that only SM can give you, it doesn´t mean they are good.

Coleen Hoover is a great example. I´ve DNFed every one of her books I´ve tried to read. Not only the writing is bad, she has a great deal of confussion about what she actually writes. It´s not romance, and it´s not dark romance: it trash. She does romanticize ugly situations, toxic men and women and horrible traumatic experiences. Just because she is "talking about difficult topics" does not make it good.

Now, she has a following, and we see the evidence on the fact that she sold 8M copies. Sure, but how many of those 8M people can give an honest mature positive review of it? How many actually like the book? The characters? They developed the book into a movie just because numbers were good. They took a mediocre book with mediocre characters with every toxic trait you can imagine and tried to make it into something Hollywodesque. Maybe Justin´s heart is in the right place and his effort to actually make a real movie on the DV topic was on the right track. As for Blake, I think she just got on the "romance train" and did what Colleen Hoover herself does with her characters: missed the point.

That said, I´m sure the movie has their audiences and will perform well. The message? The story sucks, the main actress is a mean girl and the only person you can take from this is a man. A man! Doing the job of creating awareness on DV!!! While the lead actress just wears pretty dresses and hangs on her hubby´s arm.

(Also, booktook is messy. There is everything under that label and is the home of very questionable not only readers bust authors.)

Oh, absolutely. I checked BookTok out when I first got on TikTok and noped out of it two weeks later. The books they were recommending, the people they were talking about, they hype they were creating - sometimes it really did feel like "did you people not read the book? It's TRASH. Literal t-r-a-s-h." Like there was no editing, the plots were going everywhere and nowhere, it was chockful of grammar and misspellings, the characters were stereotyped tropes.

I've learned to tune out the hype when it comes to BookTok because basically at this point, BookTok is just one giant ad and social media campaign for authors who could never make it past quality control of the neighborhood bookstore.

It's just not for me and I'm glad to see that more and more people are waking up to how problematic BookTok is - and how pervasive its marketing to female audiences has become. It almost kind of feels like because BookTok (a significantly female audience) tends to champion female-driven storytelling, a lot of new/current marketing strategies for female audiences is to promote female-driven storytelling, especially when it comes to romance (a significantly female-based genre). So it feels like Blake and Colleen took over the marketing and media tour for It Ends With Us to play into that trend. If they make It Ends With Us look like female-driven storytelling - female cast, female author, no men except the stereotypical tall dark handsome hunk our leading lady is in love with - then they'll get the female audience to franchise this thing and cement their status as leading storytellers of female empowerment.

(Which now that I'm thinking about it in the way, it does almost kind of feel like Blake may have wanted to use It Ends With Us as a vehicle to shortcut her way towards having her own production company for female-driven storytelling - because that's also the conversation happening in Hollywood these days.)

[ineffableigh]

Timeline of Suspicious Events Brain Dump - PART 3

You know the drill at this point. Off we goooo! [Part 1][Part 2]

"Maggie and Nina are depending on me!" Azi's really drunk his own Kool-aid at this point, or he's putting on a complicated show to pretend this is a serious endeavor. Giving away a valuable book just to trick Heaven? Something's really not adding up.

Another weird noise for the logs: A bassy 'whoosh/boom' noise right after Mutt says he has anniversary dinner with his beloved spouse and the camera pans to Crowley. Not sure it means anything, but it did stand out to me lol.

Something that stands out to me a lot as well, assuming it was done deliberately (I don't know the actor) - Mutt seems to be having an awfully hard time handling the cards he's currently sorting. Like, after he says 'no' at first, I cannot figure out what he's trying to do with his right hand.

Also of note: The mysterious Bird Box is nowhere to be seen in the shop, even though MANY of the set items are identical to the 1941 scene. Where that bird at??

"Under no circumstances can I there be for tonight." ... what? This has to be on purpose, right? I'm digging, I know, but that's what we do here lol.

Big sad empty warehouse for the Demon Legions. Why on earth (or in Hell) is Hell so short staffed? Where them demons at?

DANGER...osity!

"I can only be there 'til 7" so that's a half hour window for the meeting, at least for Justine. Fair, she can only handle so much of Azi's painful French lol.

The metal barrier just outside the cafe is... awfully snake-y isn't it?

"Looking where the furniture isn't..." is definitely going to be VERY important. Crowley absolutely knows something about losing AND regaining memories and it's been telegraphed all season.

Michael has eye earrings! This feels like a huge tie-in with Maggie's all seeing eye necklace.

Skimming through the rest since I've gone through it multiple times through other posts, but quick takeaways include...

Ms Cheng looking at the Pub before she goes in. Suspicious given we know that's the Hellevator, but have no reason to believe she'd be looking for someone else coming from that direction as the cafe AND record store are the other way.

Mr Brown has to be suspicious because we HEAR him getting mulched by demons when he's taken, but he survives? WEIRD.

Maggie's main character moment as I mentioned in my 'Thoughts about Maggie' post.

Azi seems very genuine when explaining the Coffee Shop Love Plot to Nina, so maybe he really did believe he was helping. I don't get why they steamrolled past her already having a partner, both the lads knew it. It's weird for that much.

Maggie blankly standing by the open window in range of trash is weird, especially since she like Activates and Becomes Brave right after.

I do wonder... how does Shax know Maggie couldn't pay the rent? That seems awfully specific. Like REALLY specific.

Throne, Dominion or Higher Crowley - what a way to drop that info! That moment hits so hard lol.

"Institutional Problem" I wonder if we'll learn more about The Fall next season. What was it that actually triggered it (in this universe)?

I love that the archangels clearly interact with each other SO LITTLE that no one even knows if Gabriel actually has his own bloody desk lol. Talk about isolation.

Huh. I wonder why Shax didn't get discorporated by the Exploding Halo...

You know who else is wearing a damn turtleneck? SARAQUAEL. OOH. COVERT AGENT? HMMMM

No one looked at the damn box, I still can't believe it. Everyone was so busy Being In A Story that they didn't think of it lol.

Analysis of the last chunk of the episode has been done to death, so I'll finish by underlining that it's SO awfully convenient that Maggie INSISTED that she and Nina talk to "them" while Aziraphale was waylaid by the Metatron.

In fact, it's Very Fortunate that the Metatron made a point of going and sitting at JUSTINE'S CAFE out of sight of the bookshop AND Nina's Cafe. Otherwise Nina might have been like hey you, get in on this chat! Like he knew that was the plan...

Plus the fact that they do that even though Justine's cafe is clearly CLOSED. I doubt she'd be chill with that so I guess she's not around.

Anyway that's enough so here's the TLDR:

The Metatron pretty much just LETS Gabriel escape, knowing that the Archangels will go down and muddle about trying to investigate.

We still don't know why Michael thought they had the right to strike people from the Book of Life. The Metatron seems to think that's out of the question, so where did that idea come from in the first place? It was a major driver of the early plot this season.

It seems convenient that Maggie cried about Nina RIGHT before the Angels arrived to inspect the Jimbriel miracle, and then RIGHT AFTER THAT, Mr Brown (of Brown's World of Carpets) shows up to set up the venue. That alone, all happening in the span of maybe 15 minutes, is a LOT.

It really feels like much of the plot was specifically orchestrated to keep Aziraphale and Crowley apart and NOT TALKING to each other. They keep hiding shit from each other to protect each other, but just hamstring themselves.

[poisindonottouch]

Queer reads: K.J. Charles

As we leave fantasy, I bring you the last category of my recommendations: smutty smutty smut. 

Okay, these are romance novels, but in my reading of romance novels, I’ve discovered that I thoroughly enjoy the spicier end of the spectrum. The smuttier the better. 

So, for day 22, I bring you my favorite romance author KJ Charles. 

I’m putting this under a cut, because it’s going to be long. 

KJ Charles has written loads of books, but I’ve narrowed it down to my favorite 9. 

I’ll take these by series. 

First off, I give you the Will Darling Adventures. These books take place in 1920s London (and surrounding environs.) They are post WWI. Will Darling served in the war, came home to no one, and ended up inheriting a book shop. He’s gruff, manly, and really a giant cinnamon roll. Kim did not serve in the war (it’s a whole thing), and he’s anything but a manly cinnamon roll. He’s sharp and devious and manipulative. And of course, they fall in loooove. This trilogy follows the same pairing over three books, and it’s nice to see how KJC handles the deepening of their relationship from HFN to HEA. (That’s happily for now & happily ever after.) 

The next two books, Proper English and Think of England, are actually in the same world as the Will Darling books, and you’ll see a cameo or two in the later trilogy. Proper English, set in 1902, tells the story of Pat and Fen meeting at a house party that involves a murder mystery and some sexy times. After all, if a murderer is on the loose, you can’t sleep alone, right? Think of England, set in 1904, tells the story of Archie and Daniel, at a different house party. Archie is there to investigate some shady business, but he’s a straightforward kind of man, and he is woefully out of his depth. Luckily, Daniel is there. 

Any Old Diamonds and An Unnatural Vice are set in the same world, about 20 years apart. They aren’t the only books in their series, but they are my favorite of each. Any Old Diamonds follows Alec and Jerry as Alec hires Jerry to steal some jewels. There’s a great twist to this one, and I love Alec and Jerry. I want more of them. An Unnatural Vice is book two of the Sins of the City trilogy, but Justin Lazarus is the very best character ever, and Nathaniel is good for him. I recommend the all the books in both series, but these two are my favorite in the bunches. 

Band Sinister is a stand alone novel, telling the story of Phillip and Guy, who have some bad history between their families, but unforeseen circumstances bring them together, and chemistry does the rest. I would love to read a book series about every side character in this book, but alas. I’ll keep reading fanfic instead. 

Which brings us to The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen, the most recent book out by KJC. It’s the first of a duology, and I’m super excited for the next one to come out in September. It’s marked on my calendar in my kitchen. This is a dual pov book switching between Garath, who recently inherited his late fathers title, home, and secrets, and Joss, the boss of the local smuggler family. This is a lovers to enemies to lovers book, and I love it. Really, one of KJCs best. 

(Ack! I missed Spectered Isle, which is also fantastic. I really enjoy the relationship in this one, and I’d happily read a bunch of books set in this world, but alas, I think this series is over. Spectered Isle follows after The Casebooks of Simon Feximal (also good. Think smutty, magical Sherlock Holmes.) Like the Will Darling books, Spectered Isle takes place post the Great War, and everyone in the novel is scarred from it. It’s not a shared universe though, because this one has magic, and the Will Darling books are not fantasy, but similar time frame.)

[crimswnred]

these hc are so cute ! maybe what halloween costume the Li would wear individually and in a couples costume 💓💓💓

HI YES YES YES I LOVE THIS QUESTION

I'm so excited!! ok, ok, without any further ado:

what the season 2 lis would wear for halloween (individually and in a couple)

bobby.

individually: look me in the eye right now and tell me he wouldn't dress up as spider-man. especially now with the spider-verse movies.

couple: he's a silly guy so I'm thinking he could wear literally anything after a little convincing, but ultimately, I'm saying:

beast boy & raven or robin & starfire (teen titans)

scott pilgrim and ramona flowers (scott pilgrim vs the world)

shark boy and lava girl

this has gotten way too long!! pls check out more under the cut 👇

gary.

individually: most likely a star war reference. or something funny. definitely something tight

couple: again, another silly guy who would wear anything you ask him, but here are my picks:

han solo and princess leia (and he absolutely loves it)

bowser and peach, not mario tho because that's too basic

bob and helen parr (the incredibles)

ibrahim.

individually: violet man. ok, let's say violet man isn't a real thing (like, well, it isn't). he's DEFINITELY dressing as another superhero. my guess? either superman or batman.

couple: he's gonna rock the best geek couple costumes ever and he'll show off. together, you guys will either serve cunt or die trying. here are some ideas:

batman and catwoman (the batman)

wanda maximoff and vision (wandavison)

jean gray and scott summers (the x-men)

noah.

individually: he would probably wear something that's more halloween than costume party, if you get what i mean? he prolly loves the holiday 'cause of his siblings and REALLY commits to the bit. fred krueger, jason, chuck, ghost face...

couple: like I said, he commits to the bit and goes all the way but he's sticking to the horror pattern because that's how it should go. some ideas include:

emily and victor (corpse bride)

other mother and other father (coraline)

beetlejuice and lydia (yes, the red wedding dress)

lucas.

individually: something sexy but that he doesn't need to put much effort in, like a vampire or something. i can't see him going all out for halloween, i'm sorry 😭

couple: now, when in a couple, it's a tad different... he's making sure you look good together and when i say good, i mean GOOD. you guys would probably be the hottest couple at any halloween party, here are some ideas:

gomez and morticia addams (let's put that stache to use, shall we?)

mr and mrs smith

tony montana and elvira hancock (scarface)

henrik.

individually: TARZAN. and he loves wearing nothing but a thong the whole night.

couple: I bet on something fun and easy, but also cute! he just wanna have fun with you and party for a bit, so I don't think he would propose something super complex. some ideas:

johnny and mavis (hotel transylvania)

daphne and fred (scooby-doo)

lola and bugs bunny (space jam)

kassam.

individually: I'm thinking classic and boring. doesn't care much when he's on his own. classic halloween stuff.

couple: HEAR ME OUT — iconic moments from pop culture. what do I mean by that? well, I mean:

britney spears and justin timberlake in matching jeans outfits

xtina and eminem (at the ICONIC vmas)

sony and cher (like halsey did!)

carl.

individually: spock! a little on the nose for him but COME ON. he's always dressing up as a star trek character, switching up every year. I can see him wearing something marvel related too.

couple: yeah, some star trek reference for sure but since that's not my breed of nerd (sorry not sorry), I'm saying:

jessie and james (pokemon)

loki and sylvie (loki series)

link and zelda (the legend of zelda)

ahh!! this was so much fun to do!! thanks for asking, anon 💝 I had a blast with your question!!

(!) I don't know enough about the missing LIs to add them to this list. if you'd like to ask for a specific islander that didn't make the list, don't be afraid to drop your request in my inbox.

more headcanons.